-------------------------[ w0ol #7: w0ol, a joke in every issue!@ ]---------- hey, how can you get enough? ok, so im here writing for you, im your slave, if you were here you could whip me and say "MAKE IT FUNNY!#@@#!" then id be forced to drop my keyboard, because i know im not funny. hmmmm blah woo. hmm --------------[ shut up and say something ]---------------------------------- Daan was a good little boy, like all good little boys he liked things, Daan liked to play the trumpet, Daan liked to play with his dog, and Daan liked Haagen Daas. One day while taking a shower Daan got something in his eye, probably an eyelash, he screamed and jumped out of the shower and tried to get it out, but he couldnt, only by shifting his eyelid could he get the pain to go away. Daan finished his shower, ate breakfast, and went to school. Daan was pretty much OK in 1st period, English, where he blinked quite a bit, after a while the teacher asked him in nice tones, "How is your eye?", to this he replied "My eye is ok, i guess.", she went on, and the bell rang, he darted out into the crowded hall and to his second period class, Social Studies, nothing much happened in social studies that day, so he fell asleep, he awoke to the bell ringing and his teacher saying some homework, he ran to the next class, Musical Studies, where his eye began to twitch, after 20 minutes he couldnt hold in the pain anymore, "Teacher, can i go to the nurse, i have something in my eye.", she Ok'd and wrote him a pass, he ran to the nurses and stepped inside, in the room were needles, gausse, the works, when the nurse appeared he told her about his condition and she told him to lie down, she went into the supply room and got a tweezer, she came back out and told him, "Im going to bend your eyelid back, ok? it wont hurt." so he allowed her to, she instantly saw the small object in his eye and began to carefully take it out, after about 6 minutes he began to open his mouth, then he began to sniff alot, she told him, "Only a few more seconds.", but a few more seconds was too long, he sneezed. As his face lurched forward, his eye met the tweezer with great force, before the nurse could do anything he was on the floor writhing in pain, the tweezer deeply embedded in his eye socket. She tried to remove it but he wouldnt let her, as she began to get at it he kicked her and split, he ran down the hall, blood dripping from his face, out the door, to the street. Daan was scared, he started to run and run, finally he crashed into something, it was a phone pole, he could only do one thing, he hugged the phone pole. Daan was found later that day, crying and hugging the phone pole, when they got him to the hospital he was faint from blood loss, as they wheeled him into his room a doctor came and in started to spary the ants which were crawling all over his body. They could never determine if he had died because of the eye wound or his allergic reaction to fire ants. ---------------------------[ morbid ]------------------------------------- wowie, no, it sucked. ok, hmm, well, this is w0ol #7 and there is a joke in this issue, so ill tell you it, uh, a man and a fish are walking towards a small tissue, which gets there first? THE MAN YOU FUCKING DEGENERATE@%#$%@^# FISH CANT WALK!&^%#&^%# ARGH!#! HOW STUPID ARE YOU!@ I CANT BELIEVE YOU THOUGHT A FISH COULD WALK TO A TISSUE#@! PLUS WHAT WOULD IT DO WITH THE TISSUE@#?! ok sorry, thats not the joke, the real joke is.... 45C!! M4N, our new hero . aaad&$&b O . # Z ` # - * &$& &$$$& ~~|=&& &$$& &$$& &$$& &$ $& $& &$ &$ $& db db who is this lone k-rad figure in the night?! fighting laymurs? who is the one with the multi-tasking gun? who knows his true identity? why is his nose a Z? how come hes so un-textured? its ascii man!@ phear him laymurs everywhere!@ he will eat your feet in your sleep!@ heres the n3ws, ascii man is patrolling w0ol from now on, he has a secret identity, who will he turn out to be!?#@? we must know!#@!# -----------------------[ w0w, gimic ]--------------------------------------- yes, very yrev ,sey im bored. ok, here we go, lets move on to another amazing orgasm in space, known as... uh, shit, i have to think of something, THE JAR@#!# the jar is now where all the w0ols will be stored, uh, welcome to the jar. ------------------------------[ w0w ]---------------------------------------- ok, so now that you are compeltly excited, goodbye. ------------------------[ ugh. YOU SUCK ]----------------------------------- oh i see? well you know what? i was going to go easy on you, but im not, you can no longer exit your editor until you read and comprehend each of the following bad-ascii-lines ----------------------------[ NO!@!#! IM SORRY!#!# PLEASE!#@ ]-------------- haha!# mortal!# &$& sssss sssss $ &$__$& $ssss $ssss $ &$ $& ssss$ ssss$ o hmm $s$s$ $s$s$ s$s$s##############s$s$s $s$s$ $s$s$ dumbell. k-rad hmmm, let me think and decide, i know, a flashlight $%@&$#@&#%@$#@&%$#@#$@#$@%#@#$@#%@ @&$%@$&@#@&$%@#&@%$&%@#&@$%&@% &$#%&@$#@&%$@&#@$&@$&%#$%# %#@$&#%@$#&%@$#@&$#&$# @$#%&@$#%&@$#%&@$# @%$#%&@#$@%&$# (~~~~~~~~~~~~~~) | mag light | |||||||||||||||| \ / \__________/ | .o. | | : : | | `o' | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |||||||||| \________/ ok, now that youve been exposed to that, here is something you might not like, hmmmmmm .\|/. `/|\' ha ha!@ i looked at your butthole and drew it@&^% ha ha ha ha, you have an ugly butthole! ok, here we go we are 154 lines into this article and its time, for, a, stick of gum .-----. |~~~~~| | CKE | | OCR | | CU | | KS | |_____| `-----' good night. ---------------------------+ eDiToR CoMmEnT +---------------------------------- uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, cock sucker gum? uhhhhhhhhhhh ---------------------------------+ InDeX +------------------------------------ this is so you can find them: #1: w0ol comes from sheep! (nettle) #2: the electric santa (nettle) #3: gourmet food, gourmet boredom (nettle) #4: toast some pixie stix in the hour that doesnt exist (nettle) #5: no comprende? (nettle) #6: the annual collage issue (nettle) #7: w0ol, a joke in every issue!@ wow -------------------------------+ people of w0ol +------------------------------ nettle (thats all right now.. so write sumfin!#) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ email addresses _~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ nettle: nettle@novasys.com nettle@nevermind.lag.novasys.com nettle@nexxus.novasys.com thats it..