ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍËÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ» º º º º ÛÛ ÛÛ ÜÛÛÛÛÜ ÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÜ º Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter º º ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛß ßÛÛ ÛÛ ßß º º º ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛÜÜÜÜÛÛ ßÛÛÛÛÛÛÜ º Issue #118 - 7/20/1996 º º ßÛÛÜÜÛÛß ÛÛßßßßÛÛ ÜÜ ÛÛ º º º ßÛÛß ÛÛ ÛÛ ßÛÛÛÛÛÛß º -[ Written By: Abigwar ]- º º º º ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÐÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ º The Viking º ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ Ever since he was a young kid, Adults would always ask him, "So what do you want to be when you grow up?" In his mind he always new the answer, there was never the slightest speck of doubt. For some reason though, He would always reply that he did not know, or even something just to please the unsuspecting interrogator. For years his dreams and visions never changed. Then, one night, in a fit of feeling mortal after his girlfriend had died, he started to make things happen. The day after his friend died and Army recruiter called him up early in the morning. The recruiter was shocked that the teen-ager was still in bed at 9:30 in the morning. He started asking, "You have to much to drink last night? A long night of party'n? Or maybe sneaking out with your girlfriend huh?" Thats when it hit him. He new that recruiter was going to die. Not only had he woken the poor kid out of wonderful dreams, but he didn't even have a girlfriend anymore, because of course, she's dead. He quickly woke up to a semi-alert stage and prepared for a day of revenge starting with some back talk to a recruiter. "What are your plans for the future?" The Army man asked. "Nothing that would interest you I'm sure." The agitated kid replied. "Well, We at the Army feel that we can place people in any job position because of the army's size and many different branches. So why don't you just tell me and maybe we could accommodate you." "See, It kind-of comes down to my favorite past-time." "Really? What is that?" "Drinking, Fighting, and Fucking!" He said with a smirk. "Being drunk, getting into fights, and having sex are all you want from your life?" The army dude struggled to come up with. "Well, Yes, And one other thing too. Death." "Excuse me? I don't understand." Sergeant AzFuq said. "I want to die in combat. I want to go to Valhalla." "Well, We can arrange the fighting, and even teach you how. Hell we can even arrange your death in battle, if you'll just come down here and sign a couple of papers." "No." "Why not? Hell, After boot camp, We could send you to some foreign country where the drinking age is probably younger than 14. Tell me, Do you smoke? Cigarettes I mean." "Yeah." "Well, we'll even throw in a free ashtray, After recruitment." "Really!? A free ashtray? That settles it." "Great, I'll meet you here in my office today at 12:30. Alright?" "Yeah." With a smile on his face the boy gathered some belongs. A old looking leather vest with fur around the collar. An odd looking pair of knee high boots. A plaid cloth which he rapped over his shoulder and around his waist. A large battle axe and a small dagger, a cape, and a shinny metal helmet with two horns coming out, one slightly broken at the very point. With a trench coat on and the helmet in a brown paper bag, he went down to his basement and took a case of Guiness out of the extra refrigerator. He climbed into his car and drove around back of the recruitment office. He walked up to the back door, and threw his trench coat on the ground. Putting his helm on he stashed the beer around the corner of the building in the weeds. He pulls the battle axe, that was strapped to his back, down and booted in the unsecured door. He ran through the building killing every one as quick and quiet as possible. No one even had a chance to call for help or pull a gun. Then he booted down the secretaries door. The woman was beautiful and recognized the invader. He told her to stay their and they would talk in a minute, and she agreed. Taking his battle axe, he smashed through the phone cord on her desk. And incidentally, her desk too. One more door between him and the recruiting officer. He placed the axe on the floor, and pulled his dagger. He smashed in the door and launched his dagger at the man in the chair. It struck him in the throat and killed him instantly. Retrieving his dagger and axe, he went back to the secretary, (Who he knew most of his life). And started fucking around with her as she thanked him for 'rescuing her'. Then without warning or provocation he ran out the door and got his beer. Looked around, and slinked back inside. And fucked the secretary, and drank his beer, the rest of the day. They took a boat to a foreign country together. Somewhere in Scandinavia I believe. But before they left he told me a few things. He told me how the army really did offer more than they knew. They offered him Drinking Fighting and Fucking. Even Brutality and Bloodshed. But he said one thing that really got to me, The couldn't give him Death in Combat. And thats the one thing that the government CAN'T take away from you. He said this, "They'll [government] look at you and say that they'll take everything from you because you stood against them. But they are wrong. We're of the Viking kin, and Valhalla is the only place for us. So you tell them, You tell them with all your voice, I WANT NOTHIMG BUT TO DIE IN COMBAT. And the only thing they can do is say FUCK. They can't take that from you. No one can." The thing I find ironic, even if he doesn't know this (where ever he his) is that the army promised they could make his life long dream of occupation come true. But his was of being a Viking, and he thought their was no way they could bribe him. Fatally, the recruiter was correct. He could. Think about it. He invaded. He conquered. He fucked. He drank. He did what he wanted, but even if he lost, he would have been killed. (In combat) And even then, He'd have what he wanted. One last thing that great man told me, while I was a little kid, and he was about to leave the country. He told me of the Nordic blood, and how it boils with in only a few. And he also told me of the Celtic blood, and how it only boils in a few. Then, He pointed out that I was both, and told me, that they both boil with in me. He said, "You are a Berserker my brother. Never forget your cause. Your name for the rest of eternity, shall be, ABIGWAR the BERSERK. I'll see you in Valhalla, Friend." And with that he left. =----------------------------------------------------------------------------= And with this, I will leave you: SEE YOU IN VALHALLA! <+> `O' |-={\}> <--Abigwar, The Berserk | / \ FIGHTING NORSEMEN: HAIL ODIN: HAIL THE NEW DAWN! =----------------------------------------------------------------------------= (C)opyright 1996 Abigwar (The Berserk), All rights are mine. ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ» º °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° ]<-RaD Places To Find ALL The VaS Issues °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° º ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ º ftp.umich.archives.etext.edu in /pub/CuD/VaS º º ftp.etext.org in /pub/Zines/VaS º º VaS WWW HomePage http://www.msu.edu/user/harri131/vas.htm º ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ º We are in need of more BBS dist. sites as the last few have gone down º º recently. If you are interested, E-mail me at tpp1@ixc.net º ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ º aH GoT JaNe VMB - (313)438-0390 /\ VaS VMB - (313)605-1060 º º º Wozzel Fan Club - (313)605-1016 /\ Kill da HonKeEZ- (313)438-0497 º º ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ (C)opywrite If YoU RiP ThIs OfF wE WiLL FuCk YoU uP! [VaS] '96 - "Maybe you made a careless mistake, or maybe your trespassing!"