### ### ### ### ### #### ### ### ### #### ### ### ##### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ##### ### ### ########## ### ### ########## ### ### ### ### Underground eXperts United Presents... ####### ## ## ####### # # ####### ## ## #### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## #### ## ## #### # # ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ## ####### ####### # # ####### ## ###### [ Transparent Ribbon Campaign ] [ By The GNN ] ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ TRANSPARENT RIBBON CAMPAIGN by THE GNN/DCS/uXu Contrary to popular belief the world is neither dominated nor run by maniacs who want to do evil just for the sake of it. But since most people form their precious opinion on how the world is constituted merely through cheap tabloids dedicated to - for the sake of profit - only reviewing what the latest maniacs are up, it is understandable that this belief is not taken to be a simple opinion based on unintentional propaganda, but the objective truth. Following from this, it is also understandable that many people experience an acute urge to clearly state that they are not crazy and pro-madness - and nowadays this is often done via the help of various symbols which are to serve as explicit statements for or against certain phenomena, good or evil. Unfortunately, we now have so many symbols around that no one is able to wear all of them at the same time. This is of course frustrating, because then one might not be able to fully state what one is for/against, and might even be considered evil, since one is not wearing a symbol that is currently in moral fashion. (Please note: We at uXu are all oldschool 19th century pragmatists when it comes to definitions of 'truth', so we happily look away from the facts and agree that the popular conception that all other people are insane is true. We would also never ever dare to question the opinion of the masses, as this would make us 'elitists' (thank you for pointing out this to us, U.H.). Therefore, we fully accept that wearing symbols is the best means to attaining a happy future world, and that the greatest problem of today is that one cannot wear all symbols at once.) But now! No need to despair anymore! The Underground eXperts United are so damn proud to present: THE TRANSPARENT RIBBON CAMPAIGN! The transparent ribbon is the only symbol you will ever need. The transparent ribbon is not only transparent - in fact, it has no spatio-temporal extention whatsoever! So you need worry about forgetting to put it on your clothes or homepage. It is there all the time, if you want it to. Wearing the transparent ribbon signals that you are very very very much against violence, injustice, pollution, hate, murder, alcoholism, drugs, genocide, war, theft, child molesting, dictatorships, nazism, fascism, shoplifting, rape, sadness, oppression of blacks, oppression of women, oppression of wealthy white middle-class men, bullying, diseases, egoism starvation, nonsense, extortion, mob rule, the devil, use of unnecessary force, robbery, fraud, torture, nuclear arms race, grief, death penalty, agony, confusion, speciecism, unsophisticated utilitarianism, pure madness, pseudo-science, mumbo-jumbo, unhappiness, foul language, stupidity, gang warfare, prostitution, bad arguments, pain, arrogance, child pornography, coercion, irrationality, malevolence, suffering, misery, distress, turmoil, armed conflicts, harassment, plagues, infanticide, xenophobia, killers, absurdities, dealers, pushers, vandalism, hustlers, pimps, whatever sucks, underground experts united (oops!), colds, terrorism, slavery, serial killers, violation of rights, megalomania, propaganda, spam, sabotage, machines for mass destruction, killing of whales, desertion, exploitation, cigarettes, agent orange, your local militia movement, drunk driving, objectionable objectives, conspiracies, monopoly, littering, tasteless humour, public pornography, plate tectonics, sex without love, love without sex, cruelty towards animals, despotism, persecutionism, apartheid, treason, spitting, traitors, police brutality, instigation, isolation, unluckiness, farts, racism, dogmatism, fanaticism, prejudice, bigotry, anti-Christ, crusades, mind control, social engineering, nuclear waste, speeding, incest, gangster rap, sin, segregation, unscientific medical treatment, and death as a terminal state. (Feel free to cut and paste concepts to suit your personal morality.) Do something! Wear the ribbon! Make a statement! How much better will not the world become? We assure you that you will no longer have to fear that your slandering neighbors might think of you as a crypto-maniac, as they will know - when they see your transparent ribbon - that you are a mature adult fully dedicated to the well-being of the world. Long live status quo, and the quest for keeping up appearances! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- uXu #541 Underground eXperts United 2000 uXu #541 http://www.uXu.org/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------