### ### ### ### ### #### ### ### ### #### ### ### ##### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ##### ### ### ########## ### ### ########## ### ### ### ### Underground eXperts United Presents... ####### ## ## ####### # # ####### ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## #### ## ## #### # # ####### ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ## ## ####### ####### # # ####### ####### ####### [ A Woman's Conscience ] [ By Knyttet ] ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ A woman's conscience Her conscience said nothing, it felt as if it were holding its breath. She couldn't really get it. She was one of those people who always get a bad conscience about small things. For not always baking all the bread the family needed, for not always making her bed, for forgetting someone's birthday. She felt guilty whenever she yelled at the kids even though they sometimes needed it. And now when she committed a crime, a big crime in both her and other people's eyes, she didn't feel a thing. She guessed it would come, sooner or later. She felt odd, strange, she almost missed the feeling of guilt. She was used to always carry it, like a lot of other people. It was her shield against a lot of things. She sometimes felt that she could get away with almost anything just because she was feeling so guilty. The feeling of guilt was a sort of punishment that made up for the act which almost justified it. But now when she had made something really bad, she didn't feel a thing. She was thinking about her family, how they would take it. Maybe she didn't have to tell the kids, but she would sure have to tell her husband. Still, she wasn't feeling guilty, and she was feeling ashamed just because of the lack of a feeling she had grown so used to. She thought "I can't go home and tell him, not now, not until I regret what I have done. He will see through me as he always does." Her husband was one of the people that used to give her a bad conscience, for everything she did, and of a lot of things she didn't. He used to talk about how his mother always used to do things and what things she used to do. She knows why he did it, to make her feel guilty, because that made him feel like he had some kind of power. Sometimes she just felt like screaming at him. To tell him how pathetic he was. He wasn't a real man, not in her eyes. A real man don't need to give his wife bad conscience just to feel powerful. A real man had that much perspective that he could see how selfish and foolish that would be. A real man was someone who could see and understand a woman's need of affection and understanding - and who could give it to her. A real man was someone like this man she just met, that she had committed the crime with. The crime of being unfaithful. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- uXu #296 Underground eXperts United 1996 uXu #296 Call DIGITAL ANARCHY -> +1-703-758-0950 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------