pUd v2.12 [PUD_2_12.TXT] "Electricity cost less today, y'know, than it did many long years ago!" ‘ MAIL. MAIL. MAIL. THIS COMPLETE SENTENCE DOES NOT DESERVE A PERIOD (9/0): Sister for sale, cheap! Name: Digital Saint #1 @2506 Date: Thu Apr 01 22:36:57 1993 For Sale: One non-talking sister. Responds to "Mandy." Not thoroughly trained. Just now learning to say "Hello" when she picks up the telephone. Asking $32.27, obo. Call me voice 1-205-882-0623 or Mail WWIV 1@2506 for more info. digital saint ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's April 1st, does anybody know what THAT means? Cat-Tossing by NC The PuD Expos‚! - Digital Saint! by NC Hot new ORIGINAL Pascal code by Satan's Mutt by Satan's Mutt Blistex Active Ingredients by Blistex, Inc. Oak Brook, Il. Cat tossing is more than a mere sport, it's an artform. Personally, I feel I have near perfected this ancient art, moreso on asphalt. There's nothing quite like the saticfaction you get from chasing down an innocent cat, throwing it as far as you can, and hearing it "plop" on paved road. Of course, you can't always play this down. Sometimes, you need to act as if you legitamately wanted the cat to land in the grass. You have to lie and say and that you meant no actual harm in the first place. This is usally enough to make the compassionate forget about the entire incident until it is brought up some two months later. By then, it's ok. Let us now look at the scientific aspects of cat throwing. The cat, unbeknowest to most, is a quite aerodynamic animal. The cat is well suited for tossing. Quite streamlined, the cat allows for the passage of air quite easily over the body. Closer examination reveals the fact the cat's tail allows for stability and flow disclosure through the air. It is recommended that when throwing for distance, you use either a short-haired or better yet, shaven and lubricated (With WD-40) specimen, for less drag. When throwing for fun, you might want to use a long-haired cat, seeing as how they look the most painful as they hit the concrete. Briefly, an explanation of Catdynamics: According to Bernoulli's Principle, the increase in flow velocity is relative to a decrease in pressure, and vice versa. Although the lift dictated by a cat's somewhat cylindrical body is nominal, we must refer to this principle in that it will allow for a much smoother toss. The principle corresponds with the fact that when thrown correctly, the air will move faster over the cat's dorsal surface than it's ventral. The resulting decrease in the pressure above the cat results in a small amount of lift. Though this lift will not result in any gliding, it will defy gravity somewhat and satabilize the cat's flight. The better the stability, the longer the flight. The greater the upward pull, the further the distance. The lack of body hair results in less drag because a smoother surface allows for sort of rolling friction rather than sliding. A lubricated cat is even better; the air's fluid friction against the fluid friction of WD-40 reduces the abrasiveness of movement, and smells good. The cat is also a very strong animal. The cat is one of the better-suited mammalian jumpers. Utilize this feature. Always hold the cat in such a way that it's back paws are in the palm of your throwing hand. Your other hand should be placed under the rib cage. When you scare the cat, It will try to jump from your arms, using it's back feet. Make the most of this situation. When throwing in the "launch" style, the cat's jumpiness will result in greater distance. There are two widely used cat-throwing methods: The "Launch" procedure, and the shot-put procedure. Both of these methods have their pros and cons. The Launch procedure, recognized as the funnest, usually does not result in great distance. To Launch the cat, you hold it with your throwing hand cradling the rear paws, and your other hand holding the rib cage. Holding it slightly above the waist, run forward about five steps and thrust the cat forward after raising it to shoulder height. To Shot-Put, hold the cat by it's posterior, with the other hand around it's neck. Running forward and spinning 720ø thrust the cat forward while converting the centrifugal force to forward motion. Other popular cat-throwing techniques: - Discus Style (Recommended for Kittens) - Bowling (Recommended for the Manx) - Ball-and-Chain Style (Not for the Manx) - Softball Slow Pitch - Softball Fast Pitch - Bocci Yard Bowl Style þ Hot New K_Rad Pascal 7.0 Code by Satan's Mutt! { ClearScreen v1.0â by Satan's Mutt [DFX] coded in Turbo Pascal v7.0 11/24/92 - 04/01/93 I think this release is finally Bug-Free. I did not use a toolkit for this program, but if you have any to spare please upload them to my VX .83 BBS @2056500302. Thank you for your support, and may DFX live long and prosper, because I like being USED. ** Now Supports 50-Line VGA mode screens, unlike v0.50á! } uses crt; begin; WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn('Note that the screen is not completely clear. Please Register.'); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); WriteLn(''); end. --- Clear Screen v1.0â in C --- #include "tpcmac.h" /* ClearScreen v1.0â by Satan's Mutt [DFX] coded in Turbo Pascal v7.0 11/24/92 - 04/01/93 I think this release is finally Bug-Free. I did not use a toolkit for this program, but if you have any to spare please upload them to my VX .83 BBS @2056500302. Thank you for your support, and may DFX live long and prosper, because I like being USED. -- Now Supports 50-Line VGA mode screens, unlike v0.50á! */ main(argc,argv) int argc; char *argv[]; { ; printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("Note that the screen is not completely clear. Please Register.\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); printf("\n"); } þ The PuD Expos‚! Yhea, PuD likes to expose modem disgraces every now and then, thus we must ruin a life every week or so. This time, we will expose DIGITAL SAINT. First, the piece of mail that sent PuD over the edge, and ultimately results in the destrucion of the poor geek's life. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (2/2): Intruder's Phone Number! Name: Digital Saint #1 @2506 Date: Thu Apr 01 22:36:57 1993 Dammit, you post Intruder's phone number and real name and you forget mine. Why the hell should he get any special treatment? I want my god damn phone number and real name put into the VERY NEXT issue you release. I want world wide fame at my doorstep and on my phone RIGHT now. My real name is Matt Midboe and real phone number is (205)882-0623. I am sick and tired of letting everyone else get the limelight. And I realize that PUD has that huge readership of oh what 11-12 around the world now? But it is still a starting place! digital saint ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ** First and formeost, I would like to enforce the fact that this PuD Expos‚ was ** NOT requested. Thank you. Info on Digital Saint: Known Aliases: Digital Saint, Acoustic One, Analog Deacon, Satan's Mutt BBS Run: Project/X (1-205-883-0894) This BBS is also known as: "Used to be Visions of Chrome, before it was hit by a virus" Real Name: Matt Midboe Voice Phone: 1-205-882-0623 Immediate Family: None Family Embarassment: Mandy Spouse: Zazzy Orange Angel Favorite Food: Gravel Favorite Color: Puce Favorite Word: Buttafuoco (That's my favorite word, but isn't it everyone's?) Number of teeth intact: 4« -- By the way, Dig: It's April 1st, and that fool's joke is thrown RIGHT BACK AT YA'! þ Blistex Active Ingredients Allantoin 1% Camphor 0.5% Phenol 0.5% -------------------------------------------------------------------------The End MAIL US. This ain't no joke, freaks. These are real addresses. Try them yourself. T0UCAN S0N 0F SAM - Any VX v.83 BBS THe BRaVe LiTTLe ToaSTeR - Home WaReZ Dept, Billy's Mini-Market fReD tHe HiTmAn - Any k00l board with 7 Co-SysOps JUNior - Your mother's bed Baphomet - WWiV 2506@14 NC - 2506@36 If you want, please leave drop a message in the NEW PuD Voice Mailbox! The number is 1-205-880-9566. Give us a call... NOW! BoardzZZZzzzZZZzzZZzzzZZzzzz The following are not "Dist Sites," but their sysops were kind enough to set apart a file area specifically for PuD, which I think is noteworthy. Keep in mind, these boards are aimed at quality users only. That is why I never call. Please don't call these boards unless you are confident you are worthy, because I don't want to hear Digital Saint whine about shit like that anymore. Thank you. Project/X (o-DaY PuD WaRe!) 1200/14400 (MNP« - K00Ky modem) digital saint WWiV 2506 1-205-883-0894 - Node 2: 882-0623 (ask for Mandy) The Obloid Sphere (o-7 day PuD ware) 2400?/14400 (Funky Viva modem) James Hetfield (Coincidence. Really.) BLaH Dist Sit 1-708-965-3098