MONEY INCORPORATED DIGEST #46 RELEASED 8 MAY 1995 WRITTEN BY SLEEPY MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY SONIC FURY CCRIDER THE BIG CHEESE JULIO ORGASMIC ANOMALY SEXECUTIONER TODAY'S TOPIC: LIKE STEALING CRACK FROM YOUR SISTER, OR THE ABC'S OF FRAUD PART ONE OF TWO: So you say, "I suck and I wanna be like those K-Rad 3133+ d00ds in Money Inc." Well, I can understand that. If I were as lame as you I'd want to be like me too. Well, this is your lucky day. This file has 26 different cons, one for each letter. How cute, huh? Well there is a point to this. First is to make you aware of these so that some asshole doesn't take your hard earned cash. Second is to let you know how to make money off dumb assholes like you were before you read this article. The scams here are mostly telemarketing, which is THE LARGEST scam in the world. Believe me, NEVER buy from someone on the fone. And if you wanna get rich quick, and almost legally...this is the way to do it. Now, without further ado.....THE MYC GUIDE TO THE ABC'S OF FRAUD! $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ A - The Alzheimer's Scam $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ This is the one of the coolest of these scams, cuz it preys on the weakest segment of old people, Alzheimers' patients. Basically you call up the person, talking about his life. Write down everything he says, then call back a few days later, and ask about these items. If he forgets stuff, then hit him hard.... "Joe, this is Sleepy...where is the $25,000 check you agreed to send me? You know, the oil well investment?" Out of embarassment, the mark will send the money 9 times out of 10. Easy cash! $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ B - Bank examiner hoax $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Basically you call the person and act like you are examining fraud in the bank. Tell the person that since they're such a good customer, you want them to go withdraw money from a certain teller and hand it over to you outside. "This will help us catch the teller who's handing out counterfeit bills to customers...." Kinda lame, but you wouldn't believe how stupid some people are. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ C - Curse Pitch $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ This one preys on stupid old women. You act like a fortune teller and approach an old woman, possibly at bingo. Make friends with her and tell her that there's some sort of curse on her. To destroy the curse, she must bring you a certain amount of money, arranged in a certain order. Say 50 twenty dollar bills, or some shit like that. Then you instruct her to take a handkercheif from you and tie the money up. Meanwhile you have another handkerchief filled with cut paper. Using slight of hand, switch the two and burn the fake money. Then claim the curse is lifted, and she can go free. Refuse any payment, since you were SUPPOSED to be doing a favor....besides, money's evil right? >:> $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ D - Defective Medigap Insurance $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ This will give you a chance to work with selling skills. First, call some old person up and start talking about some new law that is gonna lower medicare benifits. Never mention selling anything, and deny any questions about selling something. Somehow get an appointment to go to the person's house and sell them a Medi-Gap insurance policy. What this is supposed to do is cover any gap in the medical bills that medicare doesn't pay. Make up some long form and make it as official as possible. Use high pressure tactics if necessary, they work on old folks. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ E - Equity Skimming Scam $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ This one takes advantage of people who are about to lose their homes due to forclosure or some such misfortune. All you have to do is offer to take the mortgage over and offer to pay back payments and shit. Then rent out the house and never pay anything. By the time the house is forclosed on, you will have made a pretty penny! $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ F - Free Car Bamboozle $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Ok, this one works. Since people like to win things, you call up some old fuck and say, "Hey you just won a 1995 Cadillac Seville!" Then you talk to him for a while and say "My secretary will call back tomorrow with all the details..." Let the idea of a new car soak in, and call back the next day asking for $1000 or so for "gift tax." If they won't pay, accuse them of trying to cheat the government or something. Then send an overnight courier the next day for your cash....it'll be there! $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ G - Get rich quick pyramid scheme $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ This is a simple chain letter scheme. All you have to do is send a letter saying: "All you have to do is pay $200 into the plan, recruit five others, and within weeks you will be getting checks from people all over the country. Hard to believe? I am the biggest sceptic around, and I didn't belive it at first either. But within two weeks I made $4,400 in cash." Pretty lame scam, but if you send it to enough people it WILL work. Make sure you have an alternate ID for this one, the cops hate it and will get ya if you're not careful. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ H - Home Repair Swindle $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ This one is for people who like to do a little work for their money. Just a little. Basically, you go to an old person's house and say: "I have been working down the street the last few days, and I could help but notice that your roof/driveway/lawn/whatever needed some work. Since I have some leftover materials I can do such and such for 1/2 price. How about $500? Ok, I'll get right to work" You then work for about an hour and then leave for "more supplies." Never go back. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ I - I'll fix your rusty bumper scam $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ This one's too easy. Find an old person in a parking lot, and offer to fix their old rusty bumper on that old car. Claim it will help make the car safer, and we all want a safe ride, don't we? Offer to even come to their house (better for you that way anyways!) and fix the bumper. You then spray your special "rust fighting" (plain) paint on the bumper. Charge em $200 up front and leave when you're done. In two weeks when the rust is back, they won't even remember you. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ J - Just let me trim your trees $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ This is the same as the home repair scam, except you offer to trim the trees while you're in the neighborhood, and trim a couple limbs and run. You can get upwards of $500 for trimming a few limbs. Claim to be from the city or something, and say the trees are too close to power lines or some shit. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ K - Keep the peace charity scam $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ This telemarketing scam, you claim to be from the police department, and ask for donations to the policemans' ball or something. Make sure you make the person feel they are helping to fight crime by mentioning some local crimes that happened recently. That will make them think they are doing something good. Besides, nobody questions the police. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ L - Living Legacy scam $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ This telemarketing scam aims at old people's desire to leave something for grandchildren. Offer to sell one share in an oil well/diamond mine/wireless cable or some other risky investment to them. This will "assure that the grandkids are provided for after they die." All old people want to help, so they will gladly dish out $10,000 for each share. This one can make BIG bucks if it's done right. If you do it yourself, make sure you are a good salesman, and if you're organized enough to have employees, make sure they are well trained. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ M - Miracle Anti Aging Formula Fraud $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Medical scams are popluar. Just place an ad in some old persons' magazine, like the Enquirer, and claim to have the "Fountain of youth...for only $499.00" Then you send some cheesy $50 vitamins, and make it look like a good deal by claiming something like, these were originally $1200 vitaimins, but now they're only $499." Everybody likes a good deal and if that don't work say: "That's only $1.50 a day....isn't worth $1.50 a day to live 10 years longer?" Breaking the price down into days will do wonders for sales. That's the oldest trick in the book for overcoming an objection over the price. Well, that's it for the first part of the file...letters N through Z will be out sometime this week, I hope. But I'd like to leave you with the cruelest scam I ever seen. In this scam, you prey on people who have alrady paid you once, and been ripped off. You call claiming to be a lawyer and say for $500 you will get back everything they lost to "those nasty con artists..." Fax them some official looking document and have them Western union the money right to you. Ok, thats enough scams for this issue....look out for Part II l8r this week! COPYWRONG 1995, MONEY INC HOLDINGS LTD. All rights drawn and quartered. MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY SONIC FURY CCRIDER THE BIG CHEESE JULIO ORGASMIC ANOMALY SEXECUTIONER