MONEY INCORPORATED DIGEST #44 RELEASED 27 APRIL 1995 WRITTEN BY SLEEPY MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY SONIC FURY CCRIDER THE BIG CHEESE JULIO (FORMERLY METHOD MAN) ORGASMIC ANOMALY SEXECUTIONER TODAY'S TOPIC: JEW THE JEWS, OR HOW TO GET A GOOD DEAL ON ANYTHING Last episode of our bargaining lessons, I explained how to act intelligent to get a salesman to cut a better deal on something. While I prefer getting things for free, that's not always possible. Good social engineering skills are necessary to get anything these days. Otherwise, well-trained salesmen will rip you a new asshole. Believe me, I used to sell cars...car salesmen are the lowest scum on earth. But, I'll deal with that later, first the second technique in bargaining. PART TWO: ACT STUPID This method will drive salesmen batty. First, when you examine the product don't say anything good about it, if possible. When the salesman asks quesions about how you like it, say "It's alright..." or "Fine, just fine..." Never volunteer information. Don't act like you know more than he does about the product. Then when he tries to "close" on you, say "I don't think I want to buy this today..." He'll start to sweat and ask more questions. Don't give solid answers. Doing this he will usually start to bargain, which he might not have done otherwise. The trick here is not to get excited about the product, no matter how you like it. PART THREE: SALES TACTICS Well, like I said before, I have sold cars. If a car lot does not have a list of cars' prices or have the prices posted, you can bet that they are trying to "gross" you. Doing this, the salesman will add money to the actual price of the car and then if you bargain you end up paying full sticker anyway. If you pay more, then you really get ripped. Ask to see the salesman's actaul copy of the prices. If he don't want to show it, leave. Tell him you know about this practice, and that you know it happens all the time. He might get offended, but who cares? Car salesmen are scum. They don't even treat each other with honesty, much less us. Fuck em! Next before you even negotiate price, ask to see the invoice...they will really bitch here, but who gives a fuck! When you get an offer for a price, ask for a signed Buyers' Order. This is not a legal document, so go ahead and sign it. Do NOT give a deposit...it's not required. If they say that the car might get sold, say "I don't care....I'll just go somewhere else." If they won't give a buyers' order don't buy from them. When you get the order, take it to another dealer and do the same. Then keep shopping till you get the best price. Now, be aware that you won't get much off a new car, but used cars can be discounted quite a bit. Especially unpopular models, like big cars or ugly colors. Using your newly found knowledge, go out and make those mother fuckers work for you! And remember, Win if you may, lose if you must; but always, always cheat! COPYWRONG 1995 MONEY INC HOLDINGS LTD. All rights reversed. MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY SONIC FURY CCRIDER THE BIG CHEESE JULIO (FORMERLY METHOD MAN) ORGASMIC ANOMALY SEXECUTIONER