MONEY INC DIGEST #34 RELEASED 17 MARCH 1995 (PROBABLY BEFORE MONEY #33!) CONCEPT AND TYPED BY: SLEEPY TODAY'S TOPIC : YOUR DAD SUCKS DICK, OR FORGERY FOR THE LAYMER MONEY INC. IS: SLEEPY SONIC FURY CCRIDER THE BIG CHEESE METHOD MAN ORGASMIC ANOMALY SEXECUTIONER The topic of this article, is to briefly hash over the importance of good forgery skills in a succesful con. The laser printer can be the greatest invention since sliced bread if you know how to use it right. For example, say you are stuck without a car, and in order to get a car loan you must produce a pay stub. Unfortunately, you don't have a job. Besides worrying how to pay for the car you MUST have that pay stub. Well, I will teach you how to forge one in a few simple steps. All you need is a pay stub of some sort, to calculate the percentages of taxes. Each state and/or country has its own tax rates, so these will vary. Also, you must have a stub from someone who makes close to what you are pretending to make, since that has a bearing on Federal tax rates. First, boot up Word Perfect, and select a nice simple font, preferably a Sans Serif type, since most stubs are simple. Next use shitty paper, no company that has brains makes pay stubs on good laser stock. Finally, make sure the whole thing fits in an area the size of a check, or about 1/3 of a page. Some places sell three part paper, and that would be great. Make sure you include: Address, name, social security number and year to date figures for everything. Next, if you wish you may make a photocopy of this and try passing that off first, stating "I wanted to keep my stub, but I made you a Xerox of it. Go ahead and keep it." This usually works, since all they do is make a copy and give it back! Finally, do this at a loan company or car dealer far from your home, since they most likely will not call long distance to confirm if you have a pay stub. If they do, just keep your cool and casually leave while they do it. If they do it without you around, just claim you got fired or something. If you follow these rules you'll be getting that credit that you deserve (and can't afford!) in no time! Till next time, remember the Money Inc Motto WIN IF YOU MAY, LOSE IF YOU MUST, BUT ALWAYS, ALWAYS CHEAT! MONEY INC IS: SLEEPY - WORLD LEADER SONIC FURY - BONG TESTER CCRIDER - WAREZ GOD THE BIG CHEESE - WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE DOES METHOD MAN - OUTTA JAIL! ORGASMIC ANOMALY - COMPLETE MYSTERY SEXECUTIONER - SEXCELLENT!