Ü Ü Ü Mighty Issue #42 Ü Ü Û Û Ü illicit "he Regurgitation" Û ß Û Û Û ÛÛ Liquid -By whoops ß ß ß ß ß ß Kollections Ä Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Sunlight streamed in through the open curtains, fighting its way to the man's eyelids, which promptly snapped open. The man sat up and wiped the crusty sleep out of his eyes as he swung his legs over the side of his bed and balanced himself on his slight legs. His muscles creaked as he sauntered into the bathroom adjacent to his bedroom. He flipped on the flourescent light and promptly dropped his Marvin-The-Alien pajama pants and peed in the toilet. He finished and pulled them back up again and turned to the sink. He splattered toothpaste onto a toothbrush and swiped it around inside his mouth before rinsing his mouth with a cup of tepid tap water. Spitting the concoction out, he belched contentedly and splashed water on his face. The man raised his head to look in the mirror and groaned at the sorry sight he saw there. The bags under his eyes were even bigger than they'd been the night before. They clung underneath his eyes like bruise-colored spider sacs, making his already sagging face look even droopier. His dull grey eyes looked as if they needed a good polishing. His big roman nose was the most prominent feature on his face, cutting it into four even sections. His lips were permanently curled up into a dull sneer, contrasting with the blandness of the rest of his face. He looked eons older than the 22 the calendar told him he was. He shrugged at his sad condition and turned into his bedroom again. He went to his dresser and pulled out a nondescript pair of pants and one of his many shirts that didn't seem to match anything else in his wardrobe. He put them on, noticing unhappily that the shirt fit even tighter than it had the last time he wore it. He shrugged again and headed downstairs to the kitchen, where he found his equally drab wife of one year burning some bacon for him. She looked five years older than her 21, especially in the bland housecoat that she now wore. Her hair was pulled up tight on her head, stretching her once-beautiful face into a gruesome mask of boredom. He grunted as she slapped the bacon on his plate and shoveled it into his mouth. "I'm playing golf today," he grunted to her, receiving a somewhat surprised but affirmative grunt in reply. He wiped his mouth and belched and headed out the garage door to his beater, grabbing his cobwebbed and dusty golf clubs down from the shelf where they had been waiting for him to attempt to hit little white round balls around some grass with them. He got in the car and turned the key in the ignition, and after only a few complaining whines from the old clunker, the car started up (if somewhat grudgingly). He put it into reverse and stepped on the gas and backed out of the small garage. He turned along the street and headed down to the local golf club, a sad little building along the side of Biff road. The fairways were badly in need of repair, with sporadic tufts of crab grass poking their way up on every hole. The greens were even worse, with obstructive grass and uneven ground. He sighed and pulled into the Biff Golf Club's narrow driveway, found a parking space and turned the car off. He got his clubs and trudged inside, where he gave his name to the receptionist who told him that he was late for his assigned tee-off time and would he mind waiting a half hour? He grunted a frustrated no in reply and went to the bar. The regular bartender, Louie, was serving today. The man pulled himself up onto one of the high stools and greeted Louie. "Well if my eyes don't deceive me! Scooter Nibble, you haven't been here for over a year!" Louie said. "How's the new wife been?" "Okay, I guess, Louie.." shrugged Scooter. "Give me something stiff, will ya?" he asked. "Sure, Scoot," Louie cheerily agreed as he served up some alcohol. "So how have you been, you old turkey you? Haven't seen you since..well, it must have been since the vampire scare of early last year!" "Yeah..." Scooter replied uncertainly. "You know, Scoot, I just read something in the paper a few weeks ago about that stuff," Louie continued. Scooter's eyes showed a flash of life, and his hands tightened around his glass. "Oh, really.." he said in his most nonchalant voice. "What exactly did you read?" "Well, now..I think it was about trouble over that chick's grave, you know, that Kase vamp?" Scott's bloodshot eyes quivered and his grip on the glass tightened even more. "What sort of..trouble..is this, Louie?" he forced himself to ask calmly. "Well, I can't remember quite clearly.. it was just last Wednesday, though, four days ago.. Hmm. I wish I'd paid more attention, can't help you any more than that, Scoot." "Oh, that's fine, Louie..pretty interesting. Maybe I'll pick up that paper sometime and read it..maybe sometime..Well, I better be going now, tee-off soon.." "All right, seeya later Mr. Nibble! Have a nice game now, you hear?" Scoot thanked Louie and quickly ducked back out to the receptionist's desk, where he cancelled his tee-off time and told her he had to attend to an emergency. He hustled out the door and into his car, stopping only momentarily to throw his grimy clubs into the back seat. The car complained before a short time before revving into life, and Scoot sped over to the nearby library. He walked into the building as slowly as his pounding heart would allow and hurried over to the local newspaper section. He found the right newspaper and hurriedly flipped through it, looking for the article. He found it, on the back side of the main section. WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE KASE, WONDER LOCAL POLICE. Picnickers in the Obloid Cemetary were astonished to find the tombstone of the grave of the infamous Kase VampiLamprey to be knocked over, and the grave empty yesterday afternoon. "Shucks, it was scary," Joel Amar, father of the family, said. "We all heard about that girl and what she done. She done some weird stuff, man. And to find the grave sitting right open like that..well, shucks!" Brian Flagg, another picnicker, concurred. "Never seen nothing like that before. I wonder what happened." Scoot's eyes scanned down the rest of the article until he came across this: Any persons having any information as to the whereabouts of Kase's body are to contact Neil Shazam at 1414 Azathoth Lane, Ph# 456-4564. Scoot's pulse quickened even more as his memory shot back to the days of the VampiLamprey scare... He remembered it as if it was only yesterday... All those people, dead, gone.. especially his best friend and idol John. How he missed John... and Neil, heroically killing that famous blood-sucking Lamprey with his eggplants..what a sacrifice. He hadn't talked to Neil since then, and had married his drab wife soon after, perhaps to escape from the terror of the days. The famous Kase had put fear into the hearts of the people, and Scoot had done nothing about it. He had trembled too much to even appear in the story about Kase, and suffered constant shame as a result. Scooter stood up from his chair, rubbed his shaking hands on his pants, and, waiting till nobody was looking, tore the article out of the paper and placed the paper back on its rack and left the library. He stepped out into the weak sunlight and shaded his eyes. He went to the payphone at the side of the library door and plunked in the 31 cents necessary and dialed the #: 456-4564. He heard Neil's voice and shakily explained the situation. "Neil, it's Scoot," he stammered. "There's a problem. Kase is on the loose, I think." "Scoot? Geez, been a while. Calm down boy, what's going on?" "I found an article, in the paper," Scoot said. "Her grave is open! She's alive, still! Damnit Neil you have to help us!" "Uh.. she's DEAD, Scoot..I killed her. Well, I guess I'll look into it. Whatever. But I really gotta go, Scoot.. Cya." he hung up before Scoot could say more. Scoot sadly hung up the phone, fear in the pit of his very being. _________________________________________________________________ At home, Neil hung up the phone thoughtfully. Scoot had always been paranoid, but this... Well, maybe he'd look into it. He grabbed his token cup of coffee and an eggplant to munch on and jumped into his car, revved the engine and bolted out of the driveway. He drove around aimlessly for a while, thinking about what Scoot had said over the phone. Then all of a sudden his engine died in the middle of the road. He turned the ignition quizzically only to receive a splutter and a groan from the old car. Neil took a frustrated bite out of the eggplant, swore and stepped out of the car and went to lift the hood, only to be thrown to the ground forcefully by 185 pounds of vampilamprey. He quickly jammed the eggplant into the vampilamprey's nearest orifice, praying that they all were members of the priestess' eggplant cult. He was lucky this time. The vampilamprey quickly rolled off him and cradled the eggplant in its mouth. It skittered off in the direction of the Obloid Cemetery without a backward glance at Neil. Neil lifted the hood of the car and saw that the transmission was scrooed, there was no way he could fix it and still see what was going on. He swore again and grabbed another eggplant out of the handy supply he kept in the car, munched on it (protein!) and trotted off in the direction of the Cemetery. _________________________________________________________________ Scooter got into his car and started it up, without realizing until he was halfway there that he was on his way to the Cemetery. He pulled up into the driveway of Obloid Cemetery, noting with a grim smile the decrepit condition of the place. He parked along a side of the path and walked out to where he knew Kase's grave was. The tombstone was still flat on the ground, and he shuffled closer to it to get a better look. "Roast In Peace" said the top of the inscription. "Here Lies Kase, The VampiLamprey. May She Rot In Hell For Eternity." With a sad sigh, Scoot realized that that was far from what she was doing. She, or someone with her corpse, was on the run, and a danger to all. A hand gripped his shoulder. Scoot turned around slowly, terror pounding in his heart and in his pants. He came face to face with Her.. the bitch. Her looks were far from what they had been, and she was covered with dirt. Understandable, since she had been thrown in the ground without a casket. Her teeth were yellow and moldy and looking even sharper than they should have been. Scoot breathed heavily and wiped his hands on his pants, trying to speak but not having the guts. Kase hissed at him and glared evilly, and then disappeared as quickly as she had come. She had grown more powerful in her time six feet under. Scoot fell down on the ground and panted wildly, curled up in the fetal position. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and slowly drifted into a sleep filled with terrifying nightmares. He dreamt he was being suffocated slowly, every last breath being torn from his grasp, a lamprey slowly sucking the blood of life from him. Scoot awoke with a start, to see only feet, thousands of feet. He quaked and tried to move his arms, to stand up, to run away, to get the fuck out of here, but found that he was buried up to his neck, in Kase's grave. He started to cry, the tears running down his face like waterfalls, pooling on the dirt underneath his chin. He looked up to see thousands of evil grinning, gleaming faces staring at him hungrily. Kase had recruits, Scoot swore to himself. The sweat poured off his body so thickly that it turned the surrounding dirt into mud, which he started clinging to his body, dragging him down further into the ground. The other vampilampreys slowly inched in toward him, hunger in their eyes. At the same moment, they all stopped and threw themselves on the ground, as Kase came walking up towards Scoot with a nasty glare in her eye. Scoot prayed like he had never prayed before for the intervention of God, or maybe a really cool lamprey hunter like Neil. He whimpered as Kase neared him, cringing as he saw the malicious look in her eye. Suddenly a commotion stirred several of the groveling vampilampreys to their feet. Neil had shown up! A spark of hope struck Scoot's head. Neil broke his way into the circle of Lampreys, knocking Kase to her feet, making her swear viciously at the intrusion. He kicked her and started beating her with his precious eggplant, juice splattering everywhere. He paused for a moment and turned to grab Scoot's neck and yank him up from the depths of the earth, far enough for Scoot to grab onto the tombstone and heave his body out the rest of the way. Neil hacked away at Kase some more with the eggplant, until she screamed and clawed at the eggplant, trying to get it away from his cruel hands. She grabbed it from him and gathered it in close to her, cradling it in her arms. The other vampilampreys, after seeing their master degraded so, woke up and realized that they, too, had sorry lives and would be better off writing [MiLK] files or something and they left. Neil hurriedly told Scoot "Watch her. Make sure she doesn't go anywhere," over his shoulder as he ran towards the entrance to the Cemetery. Scoot nervously walked around Kase for a few minutes which stretched into a few more and then a few more, and he found himself still pacing over the quivering ball of hatred. She still held the bruised eggplant in her arms and seemed to be comforting it. As Scoot watched in fascination, the eggplant's bruises began to even out and lose their discoloration, and the eggplant slowly turned back to the normal deep violet that it had once been. Scooter quickly kicked the eggplant again, and Kase's teeth snapped as she growled and huddled around the eggplant, nurturing it once more. Scoot heard someone breathing heavily behind him and turned around to see Neil, with a large bag of eggplants on his back. "Neil, the eggplants! I think that's what she wants!" he gasped. Neil nodded and said nothing and quickly opened up the grave once more. He threw in a few of the eggplants and then picked up Kase and threw her into the hole as well. He topped it off with a few eggplants and covered them with the rest of the dirt, packing it down tightly. He laid down a few more eggplants on top of the grave. "For good measure," he said, leaving two left. He picked up one and started to munch on it and handed the other to Scoot and then headed out of the Obloid Cemetery, for the last time, he hoped. Scoot shook his head in amazement and followed him out, giving nary a glance to the grave of the most exciting thing in his life. Û Û [MiLK] Information Û Û Û Û [MiLK] Sites: Û Û Û Û The Obloid Sphere..........(708)965-3098 [14,400] Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û CUM........................(708)961-1220 [14,400] Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Asylum.................(908)914-9318 [14,400] Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û (NUP) I LOVE FEDS Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û [MiLK] Issue #042 by whoops ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ This file is Exactly 15814 bytes long