_ __ _______ _______ | | / / / __ \ | __ \ We're cool | | / / | / \__| | [ ] | because WE | | / / | | | [ ] | got a group | |/ / | | | [__] | of friends | / | | __ | _____/ 2-gether | \ | | | \ | __ \ and a cool | |\ \ | | | | | [ ] | acronym! | | \ \ | | | | | [ ] | | | \ \ | \_/ | | [__] | |_| \_\ \_______/ |_______/ K-RAD GNUZ & BULLSHIT A N D ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ | | / \ | / \ / \ / \ / \ . | | | | | | | | | | | | | | # | |____| | | | \____ \____ |____| |____| ##, | | \ | | | \ \ | | | | # # | | \ | | | | | | | | | | | #P # | | \ \____/ \_____ \____/ \____/ | | | | # 0[ | # # #oo. | # #' ##./' | R O Y A L O R D E R O F T H E L E S S E R _# `## o." | j# o.. | S P O T T E D S O U T H A F R I C A N .## () o*... | Narq! ##" o.. | A A R D V A R K Narq! #^ j##,+.. | \ _##? .####<`#*o* . | Founder: UNiQUE ## _.###^ ##.'_ | Mascot: Zwobeley _J#####' #" | T H I S I S S U E O F K G B H A S B E E N B R O U G H T T O Y O U B Y : NEIZICHE POPS -The Uberbreakfast- GR33TZ GO OUT 2: Fool...................................Thanks for the ASCII pic. Mindmixer..............................Thanks for the (overused) , and now dead, PBX. Baccahbar..............................Sorry for not mentioning you in the last KGB. Thanks (Let's call line noise at work!) for the VMB. What type of voice program did you use? heh UNiQUE.................................Could you make another one of my conferences a narq- music marathon AGAIN? Jeez. CyntaxEra..............................Could you please tone us a little bit more with your "Please hold, the party modem or your European you are speaking to is call waiting tones on on the other line" alliances? Unintentional my AARDVARK! MiCr0 Mit3 M0us3.......................You have zome k-rad babe phriends. Nstalker...............................I phorgot what I was gonna zay. Carlsberg..............................Heh, love those psycho-bitch ztories. Silicon Surfer.........................IT's okay to listen in on my confs. AT least u dont play narq songs all the time like a certain Australian I KnoW. :) Woebegone Hacker.......................Were you only on one of the alliances? Trexer.................................Thanks for the k-rad VMB. Mit3 be the GNU KGB k0de lyne. Pot Head...............................I know your r33l nick, as well as Knuckle's! HA!! Z-N0TE.................................Love that Dial-A-Porn Time hotline! Sierra & Devil's Advocate..............W3Lc0m3 t0 th3 [hAdWiCk H3aLy VMB P0ss3! ************************************************************************* ********************** --- N00 GNUS --- ******************************* ************************************************************************* For starters, I'm stuck doing ALL of this issue without Pax Imperialis help. Why? His phone line g0t disconnected. Damn! But I kept in touch with him by some help from a b0ckser from Scotland. I did get an article from Pot Head though, and more articahls to come in the future. So, like, if there is any lame spelling mistakes, fuck off. :) Hopefully this issue will be much better than KGB-1. It's already bigger, and doesn't size count? We here at KGB are trying to come up with a sl0gan. BoW has "BoW will get you", but we can't think of anything. We were thinking of "KGB will get you donuts!", but that seemed to mimic BoW too much. So who cares? Well, this update is l8, but until my PBX died, we had a lot of k-rad conferences. I forgot the date of them, but it was fun while they lasted. The first one I held was on a phree fone at a ztudent university. I left with the phone off the hook, zo who knows how long it lasted. PaX(One Of The PhOuNdErZ of KGB), UNiQue and zeveral others were on. I admit, we were outnumbered by 602 geekz. But they were KGB geekz, so it was okay. HEy! Eye did a Conference all By MySelf! I am NOW A MAN!!!! - Thanks Phone d00d! - S0 then I ztarted d0ing them at my hawz, even though I didn't have a diverter. Tayke N0te, this PBX was spread around all over the place. MiCr0 Mit3 M0us3 first gave it to me, then Mindmixer. So 9 times out of 10, this fucker was busy. Damn k0dez K1dz. Didn't they know it was a KGB members-only Pee Bee Eks? Anywayz... We had more k-rad alliances on them until it died. One of the more notable conferences was when we actually got on a radio ztation in 716. We just decided to call their number, and tell them we were on a conference. It was some top 40 shit dance ztation, so they didn't have much we were interested in. But, we got to introd00ce a song and get to mention our names and wh3r3 w33 were phrom. Aint that eleet? That was our first KGB victory!(aww, how cute! now go take a nap). On the zlight downside, a few of our conferences were ruined by UNiQUE. He's still a member of KGB/ROLSAA, but he got a bit on our nerves when he wouldn't fawking stop the music when we speifically told him to. So zome of our last conferences were completely flooded with UNiQUE singing to tunes(some being by the Beach BOys, and "Wild Thing" by Tone Loc), and replacing every word he could with 'NARQ' or "AARDVARK". Don't let anybody say he's not a devoted member. Crazy and a bit annoying, yes, but very much devoted. THe KGB disciplinaree board has zentenced him to a penalty of not being on one conference, whenever we actually get another fawking PBX to get it up on. There's a VIRUS abound in Internet! It's called the ZIMA virus, and it does serious damage to your ASCII files(no! not my ASCII!). It changes any word starting with s with a z. Some inphormants(probably from NukE) zay this virus was made by the same guys who made the Paul Tsongas virus. That inserted a T in every word starting with S. FUcking bastards, don't they have more productive things t00 d0 with the1r tyme? Like fl00d my mailbox with t0nez? Fukkurz. So don't be zuprized(ha, jk) if you see a lot of misspelled wordz(aside from the normal amount), okay? Well, we HAD a k0de line up, but it went down fast apparently. Nobody even bothered to leave a message on it. BUt, it wans't like there was any k-rad c0des on it anyway, maybe except for the Zima Interactive Hotline. B00yeah! We alz0 g0t another one, but that dyed too. Fuck Phrito Lay. Boycott all their products in response to shunning out the KGB c0de line. And who's phucking VMB is this? 1-800-787-0953. Dr Sbaitso's?