=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Association by mutual benefit ----------------------------- Something rather interesting happened to me today. I took my rollerblades back to the store from where I had purchased them, they needed a minor repair. As I stood by the counter waiting for someone to serve me, a young man walked up to me and asked whether I was Mike. I was taken back for a moment... there was something familiar about the face but I couldn't place it. Obviously I replied yes. It turned out that this person was someone that had gone to the same highschool as me 6 years ago. So what was so interesting about that besides a pleasant surprise? Well, this individual I had hardly considered a friend. Sure I knew his name, but that was because he was loosely connected with the "cool" people because of his drug use, and total lack of interest in school. What really got me was the fact that he had remember who I was. I remember many people from those early years, in fact I was quite impressed with how many names, both first and last, that I could recollect. I could name off tens of people, people that I knew well or barely at all, people that I will probably never see again. Jean-Paul happened to belong to one of the latter group, or so I thought. It was this occurance that made me think about the meaning of friendship... just what exactly does it mean nowadays? I used to have a friend, Andrew, we both had gone to the same junior school and the same highschool for 2 years. In total we had been good friends for 8 years, going camping together, going to the same parties, always sitting beside each other in class. We both considered each other to be our "best friend", the idea of ever parting ways never crossed our minds. I had always admired Andrew for his natural gift for mathematics. Out partying, drinking, doing drugs, or just hanging out never seemed to impair his ability of pulling off excellent marks. I had him pinned as going far in life, and enjoying life at the same time. Him and I weren't going to be one of those people that screwed around in school when young, and only live to regret it as we grew older. I was wrong. Needless to say I did not share Andrew's gift. I was a poor student, and only after failing to get good marks after yet another year my mother transferred me to another school. It was at this time that Andrew just started to fade away. We no longer hung out, played hackie-sack, or just talked. In all honestly I have to admit this came as a surprise. How is it possible that someone you have know for 8 years, day to day, could just disappear so easily. Our friendship seemed to have endured so much for so long... yet it took nothing but a few weeks of separation to severe all ties. This is what has made me really wonder what true friendship is. All those people in my past that I spent so much time with, all those people that I considered "friends" or were they? Does the word, "acquaintance" truly describe what we mean when we say "friend" nowadays? I wonder if this consumer related society that we live in has invaded our own way of living... I guess its a stupid question. Of course it has. After all we are the product of our environment. Maybe just as we have learnt that you use something and then throw it away has filtered through to the way we interact with each other. A friendship is only maintained as long as minimal effort is required and we benefit from it. I doubt that it can be argued that friendships are beneficial. Its nice to have someone to talk to, someone that you can ask favors of or someone that you can hang out with when there's nothing else to do. But friendships become more demanding when one has to make an effort to stay in contact with someone, either by phoning or going out of your way to see them. This is probably the true test of friendship. If time and distance grow long and the bond remains intact... well then maybe you two share a friendship and not an acquaintance of mutual benefit. I was able to talk with Jean-Paul for about 10 minutes before the assistant came back. Within that time I had learnt that he had plans of going off to university this coming year, and drugs were no longer controlling his life. While talking to him there was one thing that struck me, his eyes. He was the kind of person that could talk to you and look you straight in the eye. I don't know what it was... but just from those few minutes I thought as friends we would have really gotten along. While leaving the store I felt happy that Jean-Paul was finally finding some direction in his life. I wish him well. As for Andrew.. well he has been kicked out of university. Many of his roommates have moved out because he has no respect for others, basically he's a slob. What's he doing with his time? Well apparently growing pot in his apartment to make money. Sometimes you really can live such a carefree life... but reality has a way of reminding us that the good times can't go on forever. Inner^Kry 11/Jul/98 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". 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