=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= about work ---------- So I'm a chick. A chick that happens to be a unix system administrator with about 3 years of experience. During those three years I have learned more than syslog and perl. I have learned that Women Aren't Supposed to Know How to Use a Computer. I have worked for two companies. In both of them, my job description is, in nicer terms, Grunt. In both teams I have been a part of, I have been the equivalent of the nice assistant who gets coffee for her boss. While Senior Unix Rocket Scientists 1 and 2 go off to add new services, change and design network architectures, and Make the World a Better Place, I wrestle with backups, adduser, and alias files. Why is this, I wonder? I have a few theories. One possible theory is that because men have penises, they must also have more brain power. Like the stegosaurus with a smart tail, the penis makes complicated things like TCP/IP much easier for men to understand. Another theory is that breasts suck intelligence from women. Women have to support all of that extra body fat, which takes more energy, which makes time for comprehension of things like file descriptors simply too difficult. Makes the brain smaller, you know? My favorite theory, though, is that many of the men in this industry are simply pigs. They like having A Chick on the team so that they have someone they can feel superior to. Even if they are complete nimrods, they can rest easy in the knowledge that their manager will gladly place the blame on the dumb gash who doesn't know how to do anything. Plus, it's someone they can make fun of without repercussion, because if The Chick complains, she probably will never be able to work in the industry again. Since I have been a system administrator, I have had disk drives thrown at me, I have been called an idiot, I have been patted on the ass, I have been asked about my sex life, and a host of other things which never seem to happen to Rocket Scientists 1 and 2. So now that we have established that there are a ton of male swine in the computer industry, let's talk about the women. There seems to be 2 major types of female computer geeks. There are the Femme Fatales and the Butch Bitches. The Femme Fatales wear skirts while they program, smile a lot and ask silly questions, and bat their eyes when asking for favors. The swine seem to like the Femmes, mostly because they appeal to their ego. You can see it when they talk to the Femme - you can tell how difficult it is for them to control the urge to beat their chests and make mating cries while helping the Femme get that nasty PCI video card into the right slot. Sad thing is, she probably knows how to do it, but she is smart enough to ask for help so that the Rocket Scientist doesn't feel threatened. Then there are the Butch Bitches. I am one of those. The Butch Bitches use rough language, always wear jeans, avoid make-up, and volunteer to carry heavy things so that the Rocket Scientist understands that she is not a weakling. While the Femme Fatale appeals to the Rocket Scientist's protector instinct, the Butch Bitch tries to be one of the guys. That's how disk drives get thrown at the Butch Bitch - she projects that attitude that she can take anything and more. For some reason, the Butch Bitch approach doesn't work as well as the Femme Fatale approach, I think, mostly because deep down the Rocket Scientist *knows* that the Butch Bitch does not have a penis. So, what to do? I think I will have to go shopping soon. I might be able to find some skirts I like, maybe one or two pairs of heels, some doe-eyed make-up effects... It might not be too late to be a Femme Fatale. Anonymous =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". 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