______________________________________________________________________________ T ||==\\ || || ||==\\ ||==|| || || B L E N D E R C O R P O R A T I O N || || || || || || || \\ // ------------------------------------ H || || || || ||==// ||=|| >|< >>> Presents <<< || || || || || \\ || // \\ ARTSYCM1.DBC E ||==// \\==// || \\ ||==|| || || #022-RT06 -- [05/08/92] ______________________________________________________________________________ The Artsy, Tortured Poet: Story and Commentary ------------------------- by Doktor Random Tox He sits, quietly. He twiddles his thumbs and shifts slightly, the chair squeaking. The clock chimes nine times, and his head swivels suddenly, mounted precariously on a thin neck. His languid gray eyes gaze past the frosted glass of the window pane. Snapping his head back into place, he stares straight forward at the clock, and doesn't move again. The clock strikes eleven, and his nose twitches. He turns, looks out the window at the snow-covered forest outside, then faces the clock once more and waits. Breaking the silence with a seemingly deafening cacophony of chiming, the clock strikes one, and he turns once more... only the wind-whipped firs of the forest's edge greet his eyes as he peers through the night's cloak. The clock savagely pounds itself when it reaches three, and he turns and looks out the window. He stands, picks up a bottle of Windex and his mother's wedding veil and begins to slowly clean the panes of glass with smooth circular strokes. The clock strikes five, and he stands up again. He walks to the window and with bucking, jerking muscles, he slams his face through the glass in an explosion of crystalline shards. -- The End. -- Commentary: ----------- The above story evidences many qualities of a story written by a black-clad art student of sorts, in an attempt to write depressing, "deep" stories... And thus achieve the mythic state of "intellectual" which they often consider "cool". However they will not admit (or even know themselves) that they desire to achieve this "coolness", thinking themselves above such petty matters. This is called being "artsy", but many other words are also available, while not always the nicest terms. [ie. Rodney Anonymous's "Artfag"] Pay close attention to the idea of anguish and torture,both mental (the silent waiting) and physical (slicing up his face) which is prevalent throughout all such works. Feelings of sorrow and sadness are also standard staple for these works, the protagonist often the wielder of these emotions. Then, one finds the occasional attempt at some sort of humor, which manifests itself here in the mention of Windex (use of a brand name without proper trademarking). The repetitive nature of the action culminates in a somewhat morbid "punchline". While the author may not intend this as humor, per se, it can indeed warrant such interpretation. Artsy people will turn up in almost every educational structure, and will frequently become involved in whatever literary publication is local to them. Also, the majority of them have joined Amnesty International, either as active members or participants. You should be able to spot them in a variety of locations, if not your local school. Start an ArtsyPatrol in your area today. Monitor them, take notes and have fun... You'll find an exciting new hobby and past-time to share with your friends! NOTE: If you read carefully through all of the above, you'll notice the verb "to be" does not appear once. E-Prime, a modern subset of the English language, which consists of speaking and writing without thet verb "to be" can make your speech clearer and longer, making it ideal for essays, reports and textfiles, increasing the understandibility and the length. ______________________________________________________________________________ (C)1992 by The Durex Blender Corporation & Random Tox All Rights Available at the Door. No Reservations. Greetings From: The New Reformed Orthodox Neo-NeuroGnostic Cabana of Sacred Household Appliances and Retrosapient Thinking The Durex Blender Corporation : Boston (617) 696-8156 - 24oo/8N1 - 24 hours