HEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY HEYHEYhey, hey, hey, it's ATI!HEY HEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY issue 25 November 8, 1988 P A P, the prime anarchist / / / productions, numbers run, for this morning, 7:16:44am. 1988. =========================== = info following brought = = on by a need for more = = real information =) = =========================== 619-298-4844 CRONOS 516-922-wine dial a dirty joke. 516-751-2600 2600 magazine 201-644-2335 ap newsline for the blind 202-456-1414 Reagan's desk 203-324-3117 comedy shop newsline 415-995-2606 Reality Hackers magazine 619-375-1234 time and temp 415-923-0900 PEACENET. 212-966-5000 National Lawyers Guild 800-833-news National Student News Service/ Hunger Campaign 303-499-7111 Atomic Clock ($)($)($)($)($)($)($) ($)NOTAS MUSICAS!!! ($) ($)($)($)($)($)($)($) WHAT do you make picklecake out of? Dill dough!! Why do they spell sex s-e-x?? They couldnt spell "Ahh!!Oh!!Uhh!!OO!! What's brown and full of holes?? Swiss shit!! What's a Texan call a marriage licence? Exclusive drilling rights!! When is a hard-on like money?? When a guy pisses it away!! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - :ATI, changing the way people : read for over 2 years. :ATI, a freedom paper. : ATI, a way of life, patriots / :ATI, more than just a - - newspaper, it's the rag / :of justice!!! / - - - - - - - - - - - (APWN)GROTON, Ct--Cygnus, that weirness character from the comicstrip, Life, has declared himself the Son of Man,and started his own religion. "Praise Cyg," they say. "From whom all fluids flow" "Praise him all weirdness cheese from toes, "Praise Cyg above his mischievous throne,"Praise Cyg when he tries to play trombone." He has claimed it is not funny. He says he is totally serious. He promises not to make us drink grape coolaid. When asked for assurance that the grape coolade trick would not be played, he was heard saying, "I much prefer cherry." SOVIET HAPPENINGS (APWN)Moscow/Georgia- -Although the official religion of Soviet Union is atheism, there are a couple religions flourishing. Orthodox Christianity, and Judaism are quite strong in Russia and Georgia. Most Jews in the Soviet Union have asked for permission to leave. Only a handful are granted that each year. Upon confession of Christian faith, a Soviet citizen is required to sign a paper saying, 1) I am Christian 2) I vow poverty 3) I kick myself out of the party. He will then never get a promotion at work, the state treats him like garbage, and his peers for the most part ignore him. Despite this, organized religion is quite strong in the soviet union. They arent making strong statements about abortion, and things like that, but their main issue in the 1980's has been world peace. They constantly nag at the Soviet government to go further on human rights. It will be interesting to see what becomes of the Church when Gorbachev is ousted. Will the church- bashing be as violent and hatefilled as during Kruschev? Time will only tell. 1988 was the thousand year anniversity of the Church in Russia, and Gorbachev had no choice but to allow them to dance in the streets. Things are really brewing there. We'll see. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - :I was talkin to AH the other day,: :and he was discussing that very : :phenomenon. : : "We're repeating the 60's with : :our clothes, our music, our : : poetry, : :our rallies. How come we can't : :start repeating the political : :thought too? That's why I'm : :bringing back Steal This Book, : :and Dancin In the Ice Age : :If all goes well, I'll bring back: :Woodstock Nation too." : - - - - - : : : For Sale: : : Steal this Book : : Steal this Urine Test : : Square Dancin in the Ice Age: : Write: / :Contemporary Classics / :PO Box 15 / :Worcester, MA 01613 / - - - - - - - - - - - - ************** ** HOOT!!! **- - - - - - - - - - . ************** / / / / / Activist Times, Inc. ATI is a journalistic, causistic, / /cyberpolitical / /organization, / 4 more info? /trying to / send SASE /help y'all, and us / stamps??? change the world / to: radically, in less / ATI than two minutes / c/o Kelly increments. / BRO Box 94 - - - - - - - - - Groton, Ct. 06340 ***Call these awe-fish-y'all ATI Host BBS's. AuTobahn 703-629-4422 AT-Tel 812-446-2881 One Byte 203-444-1597 Peacenet (call 415-923-0900 for info) (APWN)LONG ISLAND--Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling, a comedian and radio personality from East Norwich, New York, has been a professional entertainer since the age of fourteen. He started playing guitar in a rock and roll band before the coming of the Beatles, played all thru his schooling at Michigan State University (Mech. Engineer '71) and continued in a Long Island-based comedy/original music trio, the now-infamous OffHour Rockers. Jackie made the switch to standup in 1979, and started "Use your Finger!! 516 922-wine!!" the worlds only x-rated joke line (516-922-9463), which is still in operation and gets thousands of calls a day from all over the world. with the help of his laughline, Jackie has been producing and promoting comedy shows since the recent boom was in its infancy. Jackie became "The Joke Man" when his jokeline was picked up by Rick Dees from KIIS-FM in LA for his daily morning show. "Jackie the Joke Man" is now a regular feature on "Weekly Top 40 Countdown", heard coast to coast in all major markets. Jackie and his production partner Nancy Sirianni are at work around the clock expanding their catalogue of videos, albums, cassettes, books, joke cards, t-shirts, sweatshirts, mugs, and many more hilarious products. Jackie insists that his family is middle class on a good day, lives on the beautiful North Shore of Long Island, is incredibly intimidated by just about everything, and sees more biographies in his future. OFF HOUR ROCKERS. BOX 62. EAST NORWICH NEW YORK, 11732. (516)922-9463 THINGS ARE BAD ALL OVER (APWN)Warwick,RI--"Leon was here," says a piece of graffiti on the stall door of the bathroom of the local IHOP. IHOP is the only place within 30 feet that's open 24 hours, and the pricesure reflects it. It gets a fierce bar rush. There's more vomit and assorted other cookie chunks out and around the toilet than all the queasybags in a 737 on a tuesday afternoon. The sink is overflowing, and the mirror is in about 4 different sections from a 2am fight pitting a teenage crack dealer against a very pissed off vialbuyer who didnt like the amount of sugar and flour cut into his cocaine. The floor is filling-in tonite as assistant garbagebucket for the receptical that took a walk out to visit the shortorder cook. The large IHOP throwrug is a soggy mes almost slips over to the doorway as you regain your footing. It doesnt say "Leon was here", anymore. Someone stole the bathroom door. LOVELOST (APWN)Guyanna--I loved her. I gave her all I had in existance. She was young. I was too; but not quite weird enough for her. She needed more. She needed excitement, I guess. Sure, I was exciting but not weird enough for her. I drove an old beat up Datsun for mileage, and a Chevy pickup for the haul. I guess I just wasnt sporty enough. She left me for a guy with a bitchin camaro. ........... / from / / the / March, 1988. /publisher/ That's when it ended for ......../ me. My truck totalled, my insurance $2800 a year, my manager stealing computer sales from me, no girlfriend for a whole month, Citibank screaming judges, lawyers, and court, the local cable company, and national telephone company wanting to "talk to me", half a college degree, 21 pounds of excess fat I cant get rid of, a psychotherapist that doesnt want my body-- she wants my penis. and 80 dollars, and a partridge shitting on me from a peartree overhead. By 1990, I will be installing step-by-step switching systems in the third world with the US Army. I signed up in July, and will ship by the time you get this letter. I dont feel good about joining RayGun's Raiders, or Bush's Broncos for that matter. Or even Duke's Dingalings. But I'm going after communicatons skills I simply cannot get in college, and surely aren't getting making sandwiches at 6.50 per hour. I leave ATI in good hands. Your new publisher will be Fah-Q, and contributing editors are Ground Zero, the 8th Defendant, ee the Minuteman, Rick Stoddar, Cygnus, Yipster, and Chip, and the usual bunch of hacks. Fah-Q comes to us from Indiana, and says he plans on headquartering in Providence, Groton, Philly, AND Denver by the year 1991. He's basically taking us into 1989 with strong footing. That's a lot considering we live in a nation that hasnt been able to claim strong footing since custer's last stand. I'll be fully removed from ATI for 8 weeks while I undergo namecalling, daily floggings, and practice using various weapons like m-16's and 9mm's. Not much different from my usual daytoday lifestyle. After that I'll try to get mycomputer out to me, so I can come back on as a strong force within Activist Times Incorporated. Good luck Fah-Q, and look out world. You thought I play rough. - - - SAVE THAT CARD by INSANE ANGELO WARLORD - - - You dial your 800xxx-xxxx to use your card, and get a bad code siren again. You call it back and sit there for a minute waiting for the operator and let her put you thru to CS. 3 times it worked. "I payed $60 2 weeks ago, you didnt journalize it yet?" They gave you the benefit of the doubt and reactivated your card,anticipating their rubberalloy payment. No go. You gotta fork over at least 100 bills this time or you'll NEVER SEE YOUR CARD AGAIN. "Screw that," you tell her, "eat cockatoo ka-ka" You'll leave it bad and pay them 5 a month til it's paid off or you die-- whichever comes first. If youre thinking of cuttin up that card, and tossing it, dont. That magneeto strip on the back is a blank key. Can you say ATM? I knew you could. Next time u need to visit your friend or hack a few 4digit pins or whatever, dont let him leave a key under the doormat: too risky, you dont know WHAT kind of people would try gaining access to such a room. Insert your own personal magneeto card. It's not active anymore, but it's still a zipstrip. That's all they are looking for at the scanner!!! You knew those silly looking 14 digit things were good for something. Besides, it's good reference in case y That's it for ATI25!!!