-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- __________ / | | | | / | | _|__|_ (THE BLAH/AFTERSHOCK TWIT OF THE MONTH) /| | || \ BY LORD GEE ||__|__||____ | | | \ / DISCLAIMER: Don't smell your dogs butt, and \ | everything will be just peachy. | | | | /FTERSHOCK -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Greets... [NuKE], Phalcon, SKISM, BLaH/Guido (Make sure to see THE GET GUDIO A NEW COMPUTER FUND, later to come), my mother and to all the true h/p/a/b/c/d/e/f/g/h/i/j/k/l/m/n/o/p/q/r/s/t/u/v/w/x/y/z users out there. One rainy day I was sitting alone at home with absolutely nothing to do. My girl friend and I had just broken up so I was feeling a bit down in the dumps. Well, I decided to browse through some of my old issues of BLaH in order to cheer me up. As I was sitting there laughing my ass off, I came upon a particular issue (17) which really got my funny bone a-tickling. In this issue Chessman was in search of "BLaH's Twit" of the Month. He called up a chat board pretending to be a girl to see what type of response he could get from the horny adolescents that so often frequent at such boards. Well when your bored outta your fucking mind this doesn't seem like such a bad idea. And actually it's loads of fun. Lets see what happens when I log on to a board called the Lunitic Phringe. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- NAMES HAVE NOT BEEN CHANGED IN ORDER TO PERSECUTE THE GUILTY -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- After receiving our own private channel, because this chat board as many others do not allow most ideas and opinions to be expressed, as well as the use of vulgar language. Here's what happened. #06(T4:Scarface) So beautiful how are you? <=-- A little flirting never hurts anyone. #07(T4:Hardclit) Just fine handsome. <=-- Just playing along #06(T4:Scarface) So lets have modem sex. <=-- Woooah, but what is this?!?! #07(T4:Hardclit) hmmmmm ok. #07(T4:Hardclit) But I'm not that experienced w/modems you start. #06(T4:Scarface) come on sexy it's easy. <=-- Impatient little bugger ain't he. #07(T4:Hardclit) Hmmm, ok how is this. As you begin to take off your shirt I start by licking your huge muscular chest and nipples. All the while trying to find a bulge in your pants to rub. #06(T4:Scarface) oh yesssss do it... <=-- This guy obviously is not very perceptive #08{T4:Phobos} well.. I'll leave you two alone here. <=-- Wooah where did the SysOp come from? #07(T4:Hardclit) bye Phobos <=-- I'm so polite. --> (10) Minutes added by Node [08] #08{T4:Phobos} and I gave you both more time #07(T4:Hardclit) oh thank you o' masterful one <=-- I hate that guy. --> Login Node [09] at 2400 #06(T4:Scarface) see ya phobos, at last were alone #07(T4:Hardclit) How peachy #08{T4:Phobos} BUT... only users can use the other channels... #07(T4:Hardclit) ok --> #08:{Phobos} left to channel 1 --> Channel LOCKED --> Node #09: Connect/2400 at 4:15:46 pm --> (Guest):Squelch --> (10) Minutes added by Node [08] --> Login Node [10] at 2400 #07(T4:Hardclit) As I rub your cock through your pants I unzip your fly and remove your pants, and start by licking your tasty little cock. --=> Holy Shit! Where did that come from? #07(T4:Hardclit) Ohhhh your cum tastes so good Please make me cum! =-- I'm starting to sicken myself #06(T4:Scarface) I rip your shirt off and start sucking the delicious milk from your big beautiful breasts. <=-- Strangely I go downstairs and get a glass of milk. Am I normal? #07(T4:Hardclit) ohhh baby.... Eat me... Lets fuck in a 69, oh suck my clit. <=-- Now I am sick! --> Login Node [01] at 2400 #07(T4:Hardclit) Suck my clit, Lick it! Bite it! Ohhh it feels so good <=-- Wooah too many adult text files for me. --=> Always looong pauses before he replies, he is obviously masturbating. #06(T4:Scarface) i rub your clit. now i slowly bring my mouth to your pussy and I suck, lick, and enjoy the juices. #07(T4:Hardclit) Funny I don't feel a thing, why don't you masturbate. It will make the experience so much better. #06(T4:Scarface) oh yes baby. I already am! <=-- I knew it.... #07(T4:Hardclit) oh yesss. I started cumming just thinking about it. #06(T4:Scarface) Are you really cumming? I spurted three huge loads already since the conversation started. <=-- I'll bet, but more like three teaspoons. #07(T4:Hardclit) Oh do you have your pants off? Are you really jacking off at home for me, oh please do. I want you to imagine me. #06(T4:Scarface) yes but, you'll have to come over and do to me for real. It feels so goood, but I bet a girl's hand would feel ever better. #07(T4:Hardclit) Ohhhh.. Are you cumming again... I can just imagine you stroking your cock at home right now... Oh I would love to see that.. Describe it for me... How are you doing it. <=-- Yeah I would just love too see that. #06(T4:Scarface) Come on lets fuck, you get on top. #06(T4:Scarface) My massive python is ready to go long and hard. The purple headed warrior is standing erect. <=-- Yeah i'll bet all two inches of it. How old is this fucking guy, 13? #07(T4:Hardclit) By the way I really need to know how old are you? #06(T4:Scarface) 13 <=-- I knew it. #06(T4:Scarface) my hand goes up and down all the while i imagine your soft skin rubbing on your pussy. <=-- Huh? #7(T4:Hardclit) Oh you turn me on so much.. Does it feel good? Are you enjoying the jacking off while we talk. #06(T4:Scarface) I love it !! I need to see you for real <=-- Pathetic #06(T4:Scarface) Oh it feels so good when I rub it. Have you cum yet. --=> I love horny adolescents, there so silly. #07(T4:Hardclit) No... #06(T4:Scarface) Can you put 5 fingers in your pussy? <=-- Where did this comment come from? #07(T4:Hardclit) No i'm too tight. <=-- Man-o-man, my mind sure is in the gutter today. #06(T4:Scarface) are you a virgin? 0#07(T4:Hardclit) no I just don't have a pussy. By the way did I tell you I am of the male species? <=-- Dumb question. I don't think I did. #06(T4:Scarface) I take you down to the bed slowly Uzip your jeans, take off your sexy panty langerie, put my lips to your pussy lips, and french kiss. --=> Can't this loser read or what? I just said I was a guy!!! #06(T4:Scarface) what do you look like? Are you really a girl? --=> What's this? Is the super genius catching on.... #07(T4:Hardclit) Of course! I have blond hair, green eyes. Am 5'10, 118 pounds. I have a tight cute little ass. And wear C-Cups. #06(T4:Scarface) Oh baby I need to see you. (Long Pause) Then: Oh yes I came again. <=-- Hmmmm, well, maybe he's not catching on.... #07(T4:Hardclit) Oh I bet it tastes so good. Taste it and tell me please. --=> I would really not put that past this dude. #06(T4:Scarface) Ok.. I have never done this before. Lemme see, well it tastes a bit salty but I kinda like it <=-- OH MY GOD, Who is this loser!?! See I knew it. #07(T4:Hardclit) Hmm well thats just wonderful, but by the way as I mentioned earlier I am a guy. For some reason you seemed to ignore this? Yes, I am in BLAH tradition, betwitting you. <=-- Maybe he'll figure it out this time. #06(T4:Scarface) Oh yeah sure do you really think I would be sitting here in front of all my friends jacking off. I'm just showing them how I am making a fool of you. <=-- First stage: denial. The cover up. He made one fatal mistake here, I am quite sure this guy has no friends. And who is the fool? Moving on...... #07(T4:Hardclit) :) Sure.. Well have fun jacking off my friend. By the way did I mention that I captured this conversation and it will appear all over the world in an AFTERSHOCK issue? Along with your voice number. Well, thanx for playing, cya. <=-- Of course I don't have his number, just playing him for the fool he is. #06(T4:Scarface) Wait, stop don't NO CARRIER (Capture Closed) Welp folks there ya have it. The AFTERSHOCK in BLaH tradition TWIT OF THE MONTH. I hope you all you little boys and girls out there enjoyed the show. I know I sure did. Oh-my-gosh, I just now realized that I have become a victim a gross manipulation in the third degree. I read a text file written by BLaH and then acted upon that. What should I do? Thats freaky. But o'well I like it. If you would like to contact our friend Scarface you can reach him on a board called the Lunitic Phringe. 708-232-9196 ........9196 ........9197 ........0565 Special thanks go out to: My Mother, who without, none of this would have ever been possible. And of course, thanks go out to BLaH. Thanx guys for filling our lives with such enjoyment and wonderful laughter. Be /\/eat not eLiTe you silly guyz. Which reminds me. Our hacker friend Guido Sanchez is without a computer. Therefore BLaH is sorta dead. Although it did make a sort of Cum back . Anyways, if you would like to help out Guido send all your money to: THE HELP GUIDO BUY A NEW COMPUTER FUND. P.O. BOX 145 Clergy Land USA, IL 21293 Later, and while your sitting at your computer with nothing to do call these great boards or i'll piss on you. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Cult Of The Uncircumcised Masturbater (CUM) 7o8-961-o927 Based after NBA! - Remember if you beat it we'll eat it..... You can also call: Room 101. A good board. Although I did forget the number. O'well make it up and call anyways. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-