Textfiles of a Humorous or Funny Nature

This directory is filled with files that I considered funny, or trying to be funny. In some cases, the files might better belong in other sections because of their chosen subject matter, but usually, someone is just trying to make others laugh. Hopefully you'll laugh too, or at least marvel that someone actually thought the chosen subject was humorous.

The sense of humor that people show online is pretty well varied; some people write fantastic diatribes on stupidity or weirdness they experience in their lives, some parody other common text files, and some just transcribe funny columns or jokes they heard. The range in this directory is, for the moment, beyond easy categorization.

Description of the Textfile
COMPUTERComputer-Related Humor
JOKESStandard Jokes
MLVERBThe Humor of M.L. Verb (From Compuserve)
REALThe "Real" Guides
TAGLINESCollections of One-Liners
101nos.txt 5101
101 Easy Ways to Say No
1988.hilite 12221
The Most Important Events of 1988, from the San Francisco Sunday Examiner and Chronicle (1989)
20types 1557
The 20 Types of People You Might Meet in the Men's Room
21types.txt 1531
21 Types of People You Might Meet in the Men's Room!
59insn.txt 5456
The Warning Signs of Insanity
a-zfuck.txt 2572
The A-Z of Foul Language, by Deadbeat/Independent
aa.jok 1613
The Alcoholics' Anthem (To the Tune of Men of Harlech)
abbott.txt 8192
The Famous Abbott and Costello "Who's on First?" Routine
aclamt.txt 3237
Supposed Medical Terms for Unpleasant, but Funny, Situations, from the National Lampoon
acronym.lis 8382
All Over List of Acronyms, 1990
acronym.txt 1214
Acronyms for the 1990's
acronyms.txt 88234
A Public-Domain Acronym/Abbreviation List
adcopy.hum 2444
Jason writes a bizzare Satanic Ad
addrmeri.txt 1950
Merit Badges for Man Scouts
admin.txt 2433
The Discovery of Administratium, the Heaviest Element
advrtize.txt 6962
It's an Ad Ad Ad Ad World
age.txt 2381
Were You Born Before 1945? You're a Survivor!
aggie.txt 1616
Letter from Aggie Mother to Her Son
aids.txt 27477
AIDS: Fact or Fiction? by Mr. Yuk, Mr. Telephone, and Mr. Weather (January 11, 1986)
airlines 3109
The Things I Hate and Love about Airlines, by Michael Rosen
alabama.txt 1865
Alabama Mom to Alabama Son (A Letter)
alcatax.txt 3328
The Alcoholics' Tax Return
alflog.txt 4893
My Life on Planet Earth: ALF's Secret Diary
ambrose.bie 5752
The Devil's Dictionary: Assulting Society
amchap2.txt 1468
How to Do a Kung-Fu Coin Grab
anim_lif.txt 22602
Life Imitating Art (About Growing Up in a Anime High School) by Curtis H. Hoffmann (November 28, 1992)
annoy.fascist 8367
101 Ways to Annoy a Facist by The Deth Vegetable and Lyndon LaRouche
answers 1631
Quick Answers to General Subjects. Well, Sort of.
anthropo.stu 5698
The Pedagological Tribal System of Primitive Cultures of the Scientific Research Community by Sara Duncan
arab.dic 2352
Useful Phrases to Know When Traveling in Muslim Areas
argotdic.txt 15172
Junk Culture Dictionary of Argot
art-fart.hum 8192
The Art of the Fart by the Guild Thieves
atombomb.hum 5997
How to Make an Atomic Bomb in 10 Easy Steps
att.txt 4633
Dealing with an AT&T Telemarketer
aussie.lng 9014
Dictionary of Australian Speak
b-2.jok 1932
Statement by Rep. Edward J. Markey against the B-2 stealth bomber, July 26
bad 22169
Things Might Seem Really Bad
bad-d 7168
You Know it's a Bad Day When.... by the Red Phantom
bad.jok 1312
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when.....
badday.hum 4491
A Basically Bad Day
bagelope.txt 1971
The Ecology of the Bagelope, by Kel'anth (Bagels to You and Me)
bank.rob 4359
Rules for Bank Robbers
barney.cn1 4817
The Barney Chronicles, Volume 1, Issue 1, by Chameleon Prime
barney.txt 68697
The Day of the Barney
bb 4131
Role Playing Beavis and Butthead
bbq.txt 3456
Legal Agreement to Host a Barbeque
beapimp.hum 3395
How to Be a Pimp, guaranteed to... well, maybe not.
beave.hum 3856
Beaver Gone Bad! Fiction by Pete Stocton and Baron Von Crash
beer.hum 2672
52 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women
beerdiag.txt 3095
Beer Diagnostics List
beerjesus.hum 689
Why Beer is Better than Jesus
bible.txt 598
Bible Misinterpretations
bigpic1.hum 2766
The Big Picture (Iceland Summit) by A. Whitney Brown
billcat.hum 4770
Exploring Bill the Cat's Brain, by Motorhead
bimg.prn 15758
The Bimbo Glossary
bitchcar.hum 4337
How to make The Most Bitchenest Car, by The Dead Kennedy
bitnet.txt 29450
Nutworks, the Electronic Humor Magazine Issue #21 (January, 1988)
blackapp.hum 2390
Rabidly offensive racist employment form
blackhol.hum 5203
New Information on Black Holes
blaster.hum 1253
How to make a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
bless.bc 1594
Bless B.C. I Stay
blooprs1.asc 13776
The World According to Student Bloopers by Richard Lederer of St. Paul's School
bmdn01.txt 13824
ABL's Barney Must Die Newsletter Issue #1 (May 1993)
boatmemo.jok 5117
The Summer Boat Ride Memos
boe.hum 10598
Tales from the Bureau of Explosives
boneles2.txt 15330
Manifesto of the Church of Holly Farms by Clorox Albatross
bored.txt 16723
Things to Do When Bored
boston.geog 274
Boston Geography in One Paragraph
browneco.hum 7420
Conference with Christopher Browne of Hagar
btcisfre.hum 2518
Bill the Cat is MY Friend! By the Motorhead
bugbreak.hum 3729
How to Make Bugs Breakdance, by The Daredevil
bugs.txt 5094
How to Make Bugs Breakdance by The Daredevil (Includes Menu of Textfiles)
butwrong.hum 9106
But it Would Be Wrong, by Bill Safire
buzzword.hum 1185
How to whip out some corporate buzzwords
bw-phwan.hat 3325
Philosophical Ramblings by Buckwheat
bw-summe.hat 1674
Just what the hell IS Summer?
cabbage.txt 5686
The Night of the Cabbage Patch Kids, by Thomas Covenant of the Phido Phreaks
calculus.txt 2748
The Event of the Calculus Exam
calif.hum 731
Why I Hate California
calvin.txt 7280
Interview with Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes) running for President
cancer.rat 4030
Living in Cages Linked to Cancer in Lab Rats!
carowner.txt 1717
The 6 Major Personality Traits of Car Owners, from Weld Pond
cars.txt 3302
Large List of "Alternate" Acronyms for Lots of Car Makes
cartoon.law 3992
The Cartoon Laws, by Trevor Paquette and Lt. Justin D. Baldwin
cartoon.laws 4601
The Cartoon Laws, by Trevor Paquette & Lt. Justin D. Baldwin
cartoon_.txt 3865
O'Donnell's Laws of Cartoon Motion, from the June 1980 Esquire
cartoon_laws.txt 4523
The Cartoon Laws, by Trevor Paquette & Lt. Justin D. Baldwin
cartwb.son 4087
Alternate Explanation for the Lyrics in a Bugs Bunny Song
catballs.hum 2058
Looking at the Cat's Balls, by Charles Bulkowski
catin.hat 4412
Sigmund Freud on Seuss, by Josh LeBeau
catranch.hum 2685
Dewey, Cheatham, and Screw Internal Memorandum
catstory.txt 2137
A Cat, a Tree, and a New Word
cbmatic.hum 5517
The New Ronco CB-Matic
cform2.txt 5743
Standardized Bonehead Reply Form
chainltr.txt 1744
The Toilet Chain letter
change.hum 2290
A Comedy of Errors around Cable Cars
cheapin.la 4223
Supposedly True Funny Interoffice Memo from the LA Times
chickens.jok 3892
How Many Chickens Can You Fit Into a Generic Pontiac?
childhoo.jok 17034
The Etiology & Treatment of Childhood
childrenbooks.txt 1507
Children's Books You'll Never See
chinesec.hum 2465
Chinese Profanity Translations
chunnel.txt 3023
Ode to the Chunnel, or Why the English do Not Want a Channel Tunnel
church.sto 4424
Funny (Supposedly True) Church Stories
climbing.let 27721
Climbing Letters to the Editor Part II
co-car.jok 1876
How to Recognize a Company Car
cockney.alp 1498
The Cockney Alphabet
coffee.txt 9763
Smurf Liberation Front presents the S.L.F. Coffee File by Lithium Clown
coffeebeerwomen.txt 3547
Coffee and Beer: Better Then Women
cogdis.txt 9667
Short Paper about Cognitive Dissondance
cold.fus 5812
I'm Going to Assume This is Some Sort of HillBilly joke.
coldfake.hum 4006
How To Fake Cold Symptoms by The Daredevil
collected_quotes.txt 50622
Aaron Fuegi's Collected Quotations
college.hum 3682
The Top Ten Lists Go to College, by The Deth Vegetable
college.sla 19350
The Complete College Slang Dictionary
college.txt 6483
How to Get into College by Ian Osmond (Xiphias Gladius)
commutin.jok 12782
Commuting for the Beginner
computer.txt 7195
Things to Do in a Computer Lab
comrevi1.hum 20963
Don Tylers Splash Page: Comic Reviews, Setember 1985
conan.txt 13915
The Adventures of Conan the Librarian, by Alan Arnold
confucius_say.txt 2886
Confucius Say.....
consp.txt 49422
A Complete List of All The Stuff That's Probably in the Big Government Warehouse of All The Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know About
contract.moo 11908
Some Completely Over the Top Contract
cookie.1 33745
The Fortune Cookie File from Karl Lehenbauer (January 14, 1989)
cooking.jok 1980
A Definition of Cooking Terms
coollngo2.txt 3502
Cyberpunk Street Slang: The Cool Lingo of 2020
cooplaws 2647
Cooper's Laws of Life
cops.txt 971
Top Twelve Things NOT to Say to a Cop
corporat.txt 1440
The Creation of Corporate Policy
court.quips 2035
Disorder in the Court: a Collection of 'Transquips' by Richard Lederer
cowexplo.hum 7613
The Legend of the Cow Exploder!
coyote.txt 11939
COYOTE v. ACME (Wiley E. Coyote, Plaintifff v. Acme Company, Defendant)
cuchy.hum 8524
La Cucaracha, by Mr. Sandman
cucumber.jok 5739
The "why cu_CUM_bers are better than men" list
cucumber.txt 2177
Why Cucumbers are Better Than Men
curiousgeorgie.txt 4081
Curious Georgie by The Penguin
curse.txt 4294
Spanish Obscenities and Insults Dictionary by Midnight Sorrow
d-ned.hum 3525
The Saga of D-Ned.
dark.suc 6521
The Theory of Dark Suckers by Paul Holmgren
dead-r 3079
50 Extended Uses for a Dead Rubber, by The Banana Peel and the Garbage Can
dead1.txt 15405
The Dead Docs: Part 1, by Bryan E. Slatner (Dedaparamaxx) (1992)
dead2.txt 32397
DEAD2.DOC: A Musical Drama in -V- Parts from the Dedaparamaxx Productions
dead3.txt 59417
DEAD3.DOC: Our Heroes Enter Cyberspace by Dedaparamaxxaginos Productions
dead4.txt 68489
DEAD IV: Revenge of the Siberian Dwarf Teenage Mutant Ninja Samurai BBS Girls from Hell with Hormones That Go Bump In the Night: A Romance
dead5.txt 78620
DEAD V: Raiders of the Lost Byte by Dedaparamaxxaginos
deathhem.txt 2771
Standard Procedure on Death of Employee (A Memo, April 1, 1985)
dedpussy.txt 7734
50 Uses for the Household Pussy, by Gross Genitalia, December 04, 1989
deep.txt 8419
Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
defectiv.hum 3363
Devective Defectors
desk.txt 641
Top Things that Suck at Emerson College's Library
deterior.hum 1787
devils.jok 13529
Excerpts from "The Devil's Dictionary", by Ambrose Pierce, 1911
diesmurf.txt 2805
A Collection of Anti-Smurf Poetry, by The Smuggler and the Highwayman of Underground Communications (1985)
dieter.txt 2933
Transcription of a Mike Myers "Sprockets" Skit from Saturday Night Live
dingding.hum 3543
A Little Ding In the Door
dirtword.txt 4832
Words that are Not Heard on Public TV, by George Carlin
disaster.hum 2327
Reflections on Disaster
disclmr.txt 3312
A General Disclaimer
disclym.txt 3312
The Supreme Disclaimer
doc-says.txt 3072
What the Doctor Says and What the Doctor Means
docdict.txt 8064
A Little Editing Needed Here (The Doctor as Humorist)
docspeak.txt 3055
What the Doctor Says and What He Really Means
doggun.sto 7273
Freeze! I'm Armed with a Dog!
donut.txt 8939
How Different Philosophies Handle The Donut
dover.poem 881
The Dover Poem, by KWH 1981
drinker.txt 2657
The Drinkers' Fault-Finding Guide
drinking.tro 2435
The Drinkers' Fault-Finding Guide
drinkrul.jok 3144
Philosophies of Life
drive.txt 6322
Macho Driving in Massachusetts
dromes.txt 8281
Here's a Bunch of Palindromes
druggame.hum 1990
Take Me Out to the Drug Game
drunk.txt 7064
You know it's time to go on the wagon when...
dthought.txt 8507
Collection of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
dubltalk.jok 3771
The Quarterly Review of Doublespeak, 1988
dym 18265
Speaking in Texican: A Primer
eandb.drx 3224
How Ernie and Bert Came to Be, by The Durex Blender Corporation
eatme.txt 2059
Eat Mee Kitchen, Chinese Food to Eat Out
econridl.fun 7831
Who paid for the Englishman? A Riddle
electric.txt 2195
Primer for Homeowners: The Electrical System
element.jok 1976
Scientists Discover Administratium, the Heaviest Element
elephant.fun 5771
Determining Your Job By How You Hunt Elephants
elevator.fun 3456
50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator by Toni Ralston
empeval.txt 2944
Profanity-Laden New Employee Evaluation Form
engineer.hum 2097
The Condemned: A poem
english 9962
Some examples of weird things that came in the English Language
english.txt 12026
A Collection of Language Questions with Answers
engrhyme.txt 1889
Poem about the foolishness of English
enlightenment.txt 2471
Drime Your Karma, Curb Your Dogma: Swami Beyondananda's Guidelines for Enlightenment
enquire.hum 7029
The New, Improved National Enquirer, 1985
epitaph 6822
Epitaths, Famous Last Words
eskimo.nel 8728
The Ballad of Eskimo Nell
exam.50 7620
50 Fun Things To Do During a Final You Were Going To Fail Already
excuse.txt 5120
Excuses for Turning Down a Date
excuse30.txt 7424
Top Excuses for Arriving Late to French Class, including French Translations!
excuses.txt 3200
A Collection of Typical School Excuses
f_tang.txt 5654
Frank Tang Sell Best Good Mushroom! (From National Lampoon)
failure.txt 1844
A Collection of Complete and Utter Failures
farsi.phrase 1725
Useful Farsi Phrases for American Officers Traveling to Iran
farsi.txt 1657
Useful Farsi Phrases for Americans Travelling to the Middle East
fartinfo.txt 8673
The Facts about Flatulence, by Margaret C. McDonald
fartting.txt 3621
...on Farting, by Bosk
fascist.txt 8521
101 Ways to Annoy a Fascist, by The Deth Vegetable
fbipizza.txt 2673
JOKE: The FBI Orders Pizza (1996)
fed.txt 3256
AOL Feds, by Shot
fegg!int.txt 2604
Dr. Fegg's Encyclopaedia of *All* World Knowledge (Formerly the NASTY BOOK) (April 9, 1994)
feggaqui.txt 2943
Dr. Fegg's Encyclopedia of *All* World Knowledge (Apil 11, 1994)
feggmagi.txt 3776
Dr. Fegg's Encyclopedia of *All* World Knowledge (Magic) (April 10, 1994)
female.jok 2556
Chemical Analysis on the "Woman" Element
figure_1.txt 5400
AT&T Customer Service Memorandum (See Figure 1)
final-ex.txt 3915
The Ultimate Final Examination
finalexm.hum 3929
Final Examination from Hell
fireplacein.txt 6737
He Swears This is a True Story about the Fireplace
firstaid.inf 4633
Quick First Aid Card
firstaid.txt 3589
First Aid for Non-Medically Minded Persons
flattax.hum 2940
The Flat-Out Tax Revisited
flowchrt 1611
FlowChart for Problem-Solving
flowchrt.txt 1421
Problem Solving Flowchart
flux_fix.txt 23989
A Very Large Amount of Random Thinking
footfun.hum 873
Cops Recover Human Foot in Sewer
forsooth.hum 1064
Mother Spanks Son and Blows Up
free-cof.fee 4522
The Coffee Manifesto by Steve Guccione (June 11, 1990)
freshman.hum 4019
A Quick note to the Freshman of Horace Greeley
freudonseuss.txt 3640
Freud on Seuss by Josh LeBeau: A Review (From the UCSD Humor Magazine)
from.hum 2461
From the 60's to the 80's
fuck!.txt 2944
The Greatness of the word "Fuck"
fuckyou2.txt 11662
Toxic Shock Presents: Fuck You Too, I I Hate Your Guts (Toxic File #49)
fusion.gal 2853
Fusion Girl (Scientific Song Parody) by Bill Higgins (1989)
fusion.sup 6545
Observation of Warm Nuclear Fusion in Condensed Soup
fwksfun.hum 6335
Fireworks Foibles and Follies
gaiahuma 1759
The Rules for Being a Human
ganamembers.txt 1369
How to Identify Gang Members
gas.txt 12567
The Fart Classification Chart (Fart Chart)
gd_guide.txt 9508
Game Developer Magazine Writer Guidelines
german.aut 3154
English and German Driving Terms
girlspeak.txt 4643
Girlspeak to English Dictionary
godmonth.txt 3144
The God of the Month Club
goforth.hum 5681
o Forth and Wait, a Play in One Act
gohome.hum 4456
Group Opposed to Harboring Movers from the East (G.O. H.O.M.E.)
good.txt 1436
How to Write Good, by Frank L. Visco
gown.txt 8291
A Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown, by Charles E. Siem
grail.txt 59904
The Strictly Unofficial Script of Monty Python and the Holy Grail (January 25, 1989)
grammar.jok 3493
The Future of the English Language, Demonstrated
grommet.hum 3128
Help! The Grommet's Missing!
grospoem.txt 12333
Redone Nursery Rhymes, with WAY too many disclaimers at the top
growth.txt 2304
Personal Growth Courses from hell
hack 3226
Memo To Employees: You Can Never Leave
hacktest.txt 20467
The Hacker Test (Version 1.0) by Felix Lee, John Hayes and Angela Thomas (June 16, 1989)
harmful.hum 3642
Dirty Air
hate.hum 3741
headlnrs 4361
A Collection of True Newspaper Headlines that Merit a Second Glance
hecomes.jok 3213
The Legend of Mad Martin
height.txt 925
The Height of ________ is..
hell.jok 3862
Welcome to Hell!
hell.txt 1307
A List of Things in Hell
herb!.hum 6580
Herb? Who's Herb? Where's He From!?!?
hi.tec 9750
Completely Bizzare Diseases
hierarch.txt 1414
The Heirarchy of a Business
hilbilly.wri 2432
Medical Terminology for the Layperson
history2.oop 8181
A History of the Past: Life Reeked with Joy
hitler.59 5201
The Top 59 Mistakes Made by Adolf Hitler (To Err is Hitler)
hitler.txt 4199
The Top 59 Mistakes Made by Adolf Hitler
hitlerap.txt 2076
Mel Brooks' Hitler Rap
hoonsrc.txt 3188
Auckland Hoon's Road Code
hoosier.txt 2442
You know you're a Hoosier when......
horoscop.jok 3206
Horoscopes for Philosophy Graduate Students by Lije
horoscop.txt 2584
Horoscopes for Philosophy Graduate Students, by Lije
horoscope.txt 2993
Your Lifetime Horoscope
hotel.txt 5464
Some Foriegn Signs That Attempt To Be In English
hotnnot.hum 9159
He Warelock tells you What's Hot and What's Not
how.bugs.breakd 4864
How to make Bugs Breakdance by The Daredevil of The Police Station
how2bgod.txt 6079
How to Be God Book II by Rusty Nail, Flat Tire, Jim
how_to_i.pro 2720
How to Identify Professors
howlong.hum 6950
How Long Things Take
hstlrtxt.txt 2747
You Know You're from Hustler, Wisconsin, When.....
htswfren.txt 7100
How to Swear in French by Cherry Poptart
hum2 5350
The Who's On First Routine by Abbot and Costello
humatra.txt 9209
HUMATRANS: A Transportation Device for Homo Sapiens
humatran.jok 9812
HUMATRANS (A Transportation Device for Homo Sapiens) (Reviews)
humor9.txt 260470
You Might Be a Redneck if....
humpty.dumpty 1388
The Story of Humpty Dumpty
icm.hum 2547
Another First for ICM
idaho.txt 14716
The True Story of Idaho
idr2.txt 2941
The Industrial Dude Ranch Letter
imbecile.txt 1876
Position Available: Imbecile!
imprrisk.hum 13056
Enhancing the Game "Risk" by Redd Slaver
impurmat.hum 4266
Impure Mathematics
incarhel.hum 2116
Jason's 15 Incarnations of Hell
initials.rid 3100
Some of the Ancient Riddles from the Past, by Peter Young (The Initial Riddle) (May 25, 1989)
inlaws1.txt 13302
The Book of the In-Lawys
inquirer.txt 4608
The Irrational Enquirer: Headlines
ins1 3321
The Rules for Being Human
insanity.hum 9305
Keeping Insanity in the Closet, by The Weatherman
insult 2024
28 Laughing Ways to Insult Your Friends and Enemies
insult.lst 106864
A Completely Bizzare List of Insults of All Sorts
insults1.txt 59966
Yo Momma So Fat, I Have a List of Several Hundred Insults
insuranc.sty 5753
Some Stories about why Insurance Companies Suck
insure.hum 2850
He hurt himself because he lost his presence of mind.
interv.hum 4224
Interview with Elder Berri abut Nabih Berry
investi.hum 5202
Investigation into the "Lynch Mob"
iqtest 2767
Your Intelligence Test
is_story.txt 6150
The Story on the CD by Information Society, grabbed by Andro and Tetsuo Shima
italoink.txt 1821
Badly Faked Italian Letter Indicating the Letter-Writer is an Idiot
ivan.hum 6281
Ivan and the Burlap Quilt
jac&tuu.hum 13924
The Real Story behind Jacob Riis and The Unknown User
japrap.hum 2054
We're Jap Girls, we Take No Crap
jargon.phd 3807
Glossary for Research Papers: Strictly Speaking
jason.fun 74093
Jason Sadofsky: The Tribune Articles 1986-1988
jc-elvis.inf 4657
JESUS and ELVIS - Coincidence, or Cosmic Plan?
jeffie.heh 1563
Oops! Jeff is in TROUBLE.....
johann 475
Why it is No-one remembers Johann?
jokeju07.txt 1878
Actual Messages from Real Church Bulletins
jokes 38867
Collection of Tasteless Jokes
jokes.txt 20954
Joke Blab from the Datanet. Edited By The Slipped Disk
jokes1.txt 24334
The Zen of Cat Bathing
jrrt.riddle 975
Collection of Really Old Riddles
just2 2108
How to Know You're Growing Older: A List
justify 1502
Strange Text Justification Experiment
kid2 816
Jessica Gets it All Wrong
kid_diet.txt 4213
New Infants' Miracle Diet for Overweight People
killer.hum 1279
He's the Walk In Killer
killself.hum 8133
101 Ways to Kill Yourself!
kilsmur.hum 3189
A Compilation of Anti-Smurf Poetry
kloo.txt 11207
The Kloo Gnomes Present: The Not-So-Sacred Book of Kloos
koans.txt 8441
Collection of Zen Koans
la_times.hun 4556
Interoffice Memos and Tar
labels.txt 1178
Some Labels.....
lampoon.jok 1809
The Harvard Lampoon, "Bored of the Rings"
languag.jok 699
The ACTUAL Uses for Each Language
law.sch 4172
A Law School Chronology... Will they Be Lawyers or Not?
lawhunt.txt 3408
Washington 1986/87 Attorney Season and Bag Limits
laws.txt 9516
Interesting US Laws, taken from the Seattle P-I
lawskool.txt 5989
A Welcome Speech Supposedly Delivered by Dean William S. Prosser to his Freshman Law Students
lawsuniv.hum 3233
Rules of the Universe, by the Masters of the Universe
lawyer.jok 26307
The Canonical List of Lawyer Jokes
lawyers.txt 2237
How Many Lawyers?
lazarus.txt 3656
From the Notebooks of Lazarus LONGINT (Parody of Lazarus Long)
lbinter.hum 31676
The Lord British Online Conference
leech.txt 4573
The Leech at Work by The Rocker
legal.hum 7069
The Law Enforcement Translator
let.go 5862
A Captain Writes His Insurance Report
letgosh.txt 5374
A Large Comedy of Errors in the Ship's Log
letter.txt 22677
Best of the David Letterman Top 10 Lists
letter_f.sch 2605
A Letter From School
libraway.txt 3083
Pat Robertson speaks out for Anal Retention sufferers
liceprof.sty 1852
Funny Passage from Gordon Ostlere, "Doctor in the House," 1952
lif&love.hum 7568
Life and Love, by Tristan Farn0n
lifeimag.hum 9781
"All in a Days Imagination", by Theta Sigma
lifeinfo.hum 9216
The Meaning of Life (The Computer Game)
limerick.jok 8184
Small Collection of Dirty Lyrics
lines.jok 12923
A List of Classic (?) Pick-Up Lines
lion.jok 10151
The "Classic" How to Catch a Lion
lion.txt 9650
The Many Weird Ways to Catch a Lion
lions.cat 12382
A Contribution to the Mathematical Theory of Big Game Hunting (Hunting Using Math Theories)
livnware.hum 2911
The Song 'Livin on a Ware' by Eddie and the Lusers
llamas.txt 6253
The Mettle Of Our Llamas
lll.hum 5762
The Legume Liberation League Manifesto
llong.hum 41331
The Notebooks of Lazarus Long
lobquad.hum 1427
The Lobster Quadrille, by Lewis Carroll
looser.hum 17660
How to Spot a Loset, by The Incognito of 202 Alliance
losers84.hum 25313
The Official 1984 LozerList by The Atom
losers86.hum 13109
The Losers of 1986, by Micro Magician/The Fugitive
lotsa.jok 25057
Grab-Bag of Jokes
lozers 8877
Chucko's Guide for Detecting Lozer Users
lozerzon.hum 12970
The Loser Zone, by The Circle Spellbook
lozeuser.hum 50165
The LoserUsers: A Documentary, by Trash Compactor
lp-assoc.txt 6452
Life Placement Associates, by Daniel P Dern
lucky.cha 3492
Judge Who You Are by the Lucky Charms Marshmallows you Like
ludeinfo.hum 9298
The Luding Chronicles, by Sinbad Sailor!
ludeinfo.txt 10344
The Basics of Luding
luggage.hum 6812
The Lost Luggage Scam
luvstory.txt 69492
Dead IV: The Book of Dead
luzerzo2.hum 11778
Another Tale From The Loser Zone: Black Buccaneer
m0dzmen.hum 13819
The Trabelling M0dzmen, Part II
macsfarm.old 13137
The Tragic Tale of Old MacDonald's Farm, a Personnel Saga by A. Mouse
madhattr.jok 3019
How to Ceelbrate Mad Hatter Day
madscrib.hum 13506
The Writings of the Mad Scribe, Volume III
maecenas.hum 10905
Marcenas, by Chuck Capaldi
mailfrag.hum 4167
Mail Fraud, by L.E. Pirate
makebeer.hum 4653
Homemade Beer, by The Whizz
making_y.wel 2466
Making your Serviceman Feel Welcome
malechem.txt 2513
MEN: The Chemical Analysis
manager.txt 3249
Managerese to Engineerese Translation Dictionary
manilla.hum 1923
Mania in Manilla
manners.txt 97539
Types of Real Trouble
manspace.hum 47669
A timeline of Men in Space, 1962-1984
marines.hum 1473
The Outer Space Marines
marriage.hum 3280
Collection of Marriage Witticisms
mash.hum 49974
Script from M*A*S*H
math.1 11042
Quotes from lecturers at Cambridge University, England
math.2 12346
Quotes from lecturers at Cambridge University, England
math.far 3177
How Math Has Been Taught in the Last Few Decades
mcd.txt 5111
Customer Service Card for McDonnell Douglas Products
meinkamp.hum 10430
Well, it's more about Unicorns than Hitler...
mel.txt 10329
The Story of Mel, a Real Programmer, by Ed Nather (May 21, 1983)
melodram.hum 16081
All that Glitters: A Play
memo.hum 2014
Important Acronym-filled Memo
men&wome.txt 9335
Why Men and Women Get Along So Well
mensroom.jok 4475
A Guide to Proper Etiquette in the Men's Restroom
merry.txt 17012
The Merry Pranksters And the Art of the Hoax, by Mark Dery
miamadvi.hum 3394
Miami Ad-Vice, by Thos. M. O'Brien
miami.hum 8107
Captain Goodnight's Tale of Geek Darkness
miamimth.txt 1710
City of Miami High School Mathematics Proficiency Exam
middle.age 5560
History from the Middle Ages to the Present in 70 Messed-Up Lines
miranda.hum 3696
Some Improved Miranda Warnings
misc.1 23919
A LArge Collection of Miscellaneous Jokes and Humor
misery.hum 2232
Misery is....
missheav.hum 3961
Missing Heaven by 18 Inches
modstup 4283
A Model of Stupidity by Greg Borek
montpyth.hum 33577
Monty Python Interview, Q Magazine, 1987
moonshin 4899
How to Make Moonshine! By Phinneas J. Whoopie, III
moose.txt 26725
The Story of Moose Skin Bengt, by Uggadunk v3.0
moslem.txt 1488
Important tips for Mideastern Travelers
mothers.txt 2321
A Mother's Dictionary
motrbike.jok 2944
Reasons why Motorcyles Are Better Than Women
mowers.txt 2828
Some Notes on the Operation of Rotary Lawn Mowers
mr.rogers 3996
Some Poor Guy Fired for Playing Mr. Rogers
mrscienc.hum 9982
Omnibus of Mr. Science Answers
mtm.hum 8929
The Mary Tyler Moore Show Listing
mundane.v2 22407
The Mundanity Test (Version 2.0) (December 1, 1990)
murph.jok 9568
Murphy's Laws and Other Observations
murphy.txt 5795
Murhpy's Law, and Similar Ilk
murphy_l.txt 21489
Famous Murphy's Laws and Other Aphorisms
murphys.txt 20915
The Absolute Laws to Live By (From Murphy)
mutate.hum 3298
Self-Mutation using Programming
mydaywss.hum 14336
My Day with the Secret Service Men, by The Incognito
myheart.hum 18975
My Heart - Christ's Home, by Robert Munger
naivewiz.hum 2258
A Children's Guide to Magic, by The Silver Ghost
nasaglenn.txt 571
Top 10 Changes NASA made for John Glenn's Shuttle Trip
naughty.hum 3766
SEVEN Dirty Words? Try DOZENS!
netnews.10 1329
The Top Ten Problems with Netnews
newconst.hum 4066
New Constitution Ideas
newmex.hum 2673
See the Map, See New Mexico, no, New Mexico, not Mexico
news.hum 3365
Short Takes on the News
nigel.1 4725
The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog
nigel.10 16096
The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog Part II
nigel.2 9431
The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog 02
nigel.3 9668
The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog 03
nigel.4 8845
The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog 04
nigel.5 6722
The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog 05
nigel.6 9980
The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog 06
nigel.7 8226
The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog 07
nigel10.txt 16129
The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog Part 10
nihgel_8.9 16339
The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog 08
nintendo.jok 6157
Leo L. Schwab is Particularly Pissed at the Nintendo Cereal System
normal.boy 1152
Cap'n Jasper's Crow's Nest: The Rules for the Normal Boy (May 1935)
normalboy.txt 1168
The 10 Commandments for the Normal Boy
nosuch_nasfic 8377
Dig from Houston about Science Fiction
novel.hum 17506
A Science Fiction Blabnovel
nuke.hum 24434
Making Your Very Own Nuke
nukeplay.hum 4096
Nuclear War and the Politics of Agression, by The Mathematician
nukewar.jok 1077
Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence
nukewar.txt 43191
NUKE: The Nuclear Age Magazine (How to Start Nuclear War)
nukwaste 5788
Yet Another Modest Proposak: The Roentgen Standard
number 3619
It's All About the Numbers...
number.killer 7795
The Number That's So Big It Kills You
number_k.ill 7918
The Killion: The Number That Kills You
nurds.hum 2728
What Makes a Nurd Most, by Mad Max
nysucks.hum 2184
The Entire Northeast Sucks!
o-ttalk.hum 5265
The Wonder and the Glory of ORCUTT TALK
oam-001.txt 3538
The Monster in the Toilet Bowl, by Stumpy
oam.nfo 1221
Come to the One Armed Monkeys BBS by Stumpy
oasis 9163
Oasis of Greed (Taking a Trip to Las Vegas) by Dave Bealer and Greg Borek
odd_to.obs 3501
An Ode to Those who Toil in Obscurity
odearakk.hum 1067
An Ode to Arrakis. What the Hell is Arrakis?
office.txt 2308
Humorous Interoffice Memo about Problems in Renovation
ohandre.hum 1514
Oh, Andrea Mitchell! by Thos. O'Brien
oilgluts.hum 3086
Oil Gluts are For Gluttons
old.txt 4044
Compilation of "Old XXX Never Die, They Just ....." jokes, by Mark Israel (1992)
oldeng.hum 5091
"One Of A Kind" From the Electronic Edition of One-To-One
oldtime.sng 7903
The REAL Old Time Religion, to the tune of "That Old Time Religion"
one.par 3534
The Parachute Paradigm: What Do You Do with Two people, one Parachute?
onetoone.hum 48581
The October 26, 1987 Issue of One To One
onetotwo.hum 42026
The October 19, 1987 Issue of One To One
ookpik.hum 981
opinion.hum 2320
A Quick Opinion poll
oracle.jok 5268
The Usenet Oracle has Pondered Your Question Deeply...
ourfathr.txt 1320
The Revised Lord's Prayer
outawork.erl 7359
99 Excuses for Skipping Out of Work Early
oxymoron.jok 10011
Collection of Oxymorons, some of Which are not Oxymorons, but hey.
oxymoron.txt 1024
Small Collection of Oxymorons
ozarks.hum 3467
A Little Known Castle in the Ozarks
p-law.hum 1702
The Power of Law, to the tune of "Power of Love"
paddingurpapers.txt 7561
Padding Your Papers
parabl.hum 2503
The parable of the Prodigal Student, by Mike Mahoney
passage.hum 26233
Carol Dietz got off the train and didn't look back.
passenge.sim 3141
A New Concept in Flight Simulators: The Passenger Simulator
peanuts.txt 2442
How to Open a Packet of Dry-Roasted Peanuts
peatchp.hum 32671
The Great Peach Pilferage, by Bruce E. Rodgers
pecker.txt 2524
Open Letter to Taxpayers: We're going to Tax Your Genitals
penisprt.txt 2377
The low-Cost Penis Protection Plan
pepsideg.txt 5451
The Pepsi Degeneration by Morpheous
phony.hum 3062
Real Phony House Plants
phorse.hum 7229
The Purple Horse, not by Don Marquis
phunatdi.ana 6928
How to have Phun at your Parents' Dinner Party by Mr. Mullins
pickup.lin 1582
The Canonical List of Male Pickup Lines
pickup.txt 13006
Collection of Pickup Lines
pipespec.txt 2166
The "Irish Government" Pipe Specifications
pizzawho.hum 14757
The Effect of Dimensional Transcendence on Cheese
planeget.hum 6088
This is Your Guide to Plane Hijacking!
pol-corr.txt 2641
New Official Politically Correct Terms for 1991
polemom.txt 2758
Letter to Son from polish mom
poli.tics 1006
Politics Made Simple by the Application of Cows
poli_t.ics 1037
Politics Expressed by Cows
policpig.hum 2988
Calling a Policeman a Pig, from The Anarchist Cookbook
poll2res.hum 7035
Predictions for 2007
polly.txt 4087
The Story of Impure Mathematics
polly_.new 3446
Impure Mathematics, the Story of Polly Nomial
polyglot.c 7656
poopie-2.txt 2092
Alternative version of POOPIE.TXT. Bathroom humor at its finest.
poopie.txt 2604
The Poopie List
popconc.hum 3025
Pope Concerts, by Thos. M. O'Brien
popmach 1010
How to Rip off the Pop Machines
popmusi.hum 4036
Pop Music Explained, by Thos. M. O'Brien
post.nuc 1480
Some Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence
potty.txt 5760
A Guide to Proper Etiquette in the Men's Restroom
pournell.spo 4092
Spoof of Jerry Pournelle Articles from BYTE Magazine
prac1.jok 52030
Super Collection of Practical Jokes (part 1 of 4)
prac2.jok 46836
Super Collection of Practical Jokes (Part 2 of 4)
prac3.jok 50642
Super Collection of Practical Jokes (part 3 of 4)
prac4.jok 27895
Super Collection of Practical Jokes (part 4 of 4)
pracjoke.txt 18017
Collection of Practical Joke Ideas
practica.txt 181387
The Ultimate List of Practical Jokes
prawblim.hum 3709
What's up with these MIDDAY COMMERCIALS?
prayer.hum 1269
Governor Edwards' Prayer
primes.jok 2493
Is Nine Prime?
princess.brd 8240
The "Reunion Scene" from _The_Princess_Bride_
pro-fact.hum 28670
Miscellaneous Facts about Abortion
problem.txt 3532
E-Z Problem Solving Flowchart
progrs.gph 11264
The Definite Last Word on Geeks by Diamond Dave Letterman
proof.met 3453
Examples of Different Methods of "Proof"
prooftec.txt 1327
Weirdly Rewritten Collection of Proofs
proposal.jok 3167
What those Proposals Really Mean
prover.wisom 2851
The Book of Proverbial Wisdom
prover_w.iso 2935
The Book of Proverbial Wisdom
psalm.reagan 1042
The Psalm of Ronald Reagan
psalm23.txt 1305
Psalm 23, 1992 Version
psalm_nixon 967
The Nixon's Prayer
psalm_re.aga 1070
Reasan's Psalm
psilaine.hum 12522
PSI-Laine Magazine, Issue #1, 1988
psych_pr.quo 4396
Quotes from Professor Ralph Noble, a Professor of Psychology at RPI
psycho.txt 9682
Managing Interpersonal Relationships
pukeprom.jok 5737
My Story of Puking at My Prom After Eating Pizza Drunk!
pun.txt 10183
A Collection of Shaggy Dog Stories
pure.mat 1848
Pure Poor Percy P
pussy.hum 3648
Man, I sure Do Love Them Cats
puzzle.spo 3754
The Solution to the "I know Now!" Mathematical Puzzle
puzzles.jok 1413
Completely Freaky Lateral Thinking Puzzles
python_s.ong 1221
The Monty Python Philosphers' Song
q.pun 7239
Large Collection of "Q" Puns
quack26.txt 102752
The Holy Book of QUACK!
quantum.jok 4281
The Actual History of Quantum MEchanics
quantum.phy 3969
The Topic for Today is Quantum Physics, by Andrew Arensburger (June 12, 1989)
quest.hum 49489
Quest, by Plastique
quick.jok 8065
Quick List of Joking Definitions
quotes.bug 2384
Collection of Lesser Known Quotes from the Engineers of Hewlett Packard
quotes.jok 16782
Collection of Interesting Quotes from All Over
quotes.txt 4326
Some Quotes from the Usenet Newsgroup "rec.arts.comics"
quux_p.oem 56385
The Great Quux: Random Poetry and Other Loses, by Guy L. Steele, Jr.
r-smurf.d&d 2252
The Smurf Class in D&D
rabbit.txt 1793
Confess That You're a Rabbit!
racist.net 11117
Someone Gets REALLY Oversensitive about the Usenet
radiolaf.hum 4754
The American Comedy Network!
rapmastr.hum 3332
Rap Master Ronnie (Reagan)
ratings.hum 2317
Rock Record Ratings
ratspit.hum 2130
De-Ethylene Bromate by Stud Muffin
raven.hum 4064
Interrip Report on the Raven
readme.bat 6281
Holy Time-Warp, Batman!
reagan.hum 962
Quite Note off to John Hinckley
realest.txt 3888
Real Estate Ads Translated
reasons.txt 3723
Reasons Why a Three Week Old Dog Turd is Better Than a Woman
rec.por 3576
Parody about Brad Tampleton's Racist Joke Debate
record_.gap 4423
The Lurker in the interrecord Gap
red-neck.jks 2352
You Might Be Considered a Redneck if....
reddwarf.sng 1706
Ghost Filkers In The Hall (Filk Song)
reddye.hum 3415
Caught Red Handed, by Thos. O'Brien
rednecks.txt 3182
You Know You're a Redneck if....
relative.ada 9059
Relativity, by Patrick D. Scannell
religion.txt 9958
The Shit List!
renorthr.txt 1374
Northridge Earthquake Signage (April 10, 1994)
rent-a_cat 4240
I Would Like to Borrow a Cat
rentals.hum 3583
Rental Cars, by Thos. O'Brien
repair.hum 1943
How to Repair Electronic Equipment
report.hum 1487
Report on Ethan Fromme
research.hum 2226
Research Definitions
residncy.jok 4967
Application to Live in New Hampshire
resolutn.txt 6175
Some New Year's Resolutions, from 1989-1992
resrch_p.hra 1398
Dictionary of Useful Research Phrases
resrch_phrase 1347
A Dictionary of Useful Research Phrases
revolt.dj 2358
Dick and Jane Instigate a Popular Revolt, by The Deth Vegetable and Iskra
rinaldo.jok 4165
Rinaldo's Laws of Organizations
rinaldos.law 4852
Rinaldo's laws of organizations
rinaldos.txt 4077
Rinaldo's Laws
ripoffpc.hum 13617
Hey, Robert Briggs was REALLY Ripped Off!
roach.asc 1006
Search is On for World's Biggest Roach
roadpizz.txt 6593
The Complete Guide to Road Pizza written by Black Kat
robot.tes 3754
Are You About to Employ a Robot? (A Test) (December 2, 1989)
rocking.hum 7113
The Daredevil's Classifications of Rock Music
rockmus.hum 10320
The Effects of Rock Music
rocky.hor 59188
The Rocky Horror Picture Show Script and Suggested Audience Participation
rocky_ho.rro 60912
Rocky Horror Script/Suggestions for Audience Participation
roi.txt 3442
JOKE: Notice of Revocation of Independence, from the BBC
rolls.hum 4168
Would You Buy a Used Rolls From This Bhagwan? By Thos. O'Brien
romance.hum 915
Romance Novel No. 209
roomate.txt 5223
50 Ways to Confuse your Roommate
roommate.con 4915
50 Ways to Confuse your Roommate
roommates 8192
A Guide to Getting Rid of Unwanted Jerk Roommates
roseanna.hum 14301
He Fell In love With Roseanna
rotten.jok 1104
You can Tell It's Going To Be a Rotten Day When
rottend.txt 1103
You Can Tell it's Going To Be A Rotten Day When....
royalfam.txt 11827
The Royal Family - Inbred genetic mutants or hereditary con-artists?
rp.txt 25097
Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal, Updated by Michael Stillwell (July 21, 1995)
rubber.txt 2278
A Song by PiP the Angry Youth
rubberus 3043
50 Extended Uses for a Dead Rubber by The Banana Peel and The Garbage Can
rubberus.hum 2531
50 Extended Uses for a Dead Rubber
rudeflik.jok 5476
Miss Dish's Lament
rudeness.hum 2379
Rudeness to Reagan Awards
ruggies 2644
How To Tell Ruggies
rules.txt 526
The Cardinal Rules
rulesfor.txt 1154
William Safire's Rules for Writers
rumormil.hum 2825
Rumor Room on Location at the Rumor Mill
russian.fun 1495
Are we talkng Wicked or Nasty here?
safefax.txt 2042
A Guide to Safe Fax (Humor)
saintsid.hum 6392
A Visit by Saint Vicious
sand.hum 1253
Sandman: A Poem
sap.txt 4480
Selections from the Scholastic Aptitude Prepatory Test (The SAP)
sarah_st.ory 1854
The Sarah Story (All Words Start with S)
satantre.hum 18129
Satan Trek: The Dying Generation Vol I
sayings.hum 3840
Celebrated Utterances, a Quiz
sayings.txt 37626
A Saying for Every Occasion, and Every Occasion for Its Saying
sayno.hum 4615
Starting a "Just Say No" Club
sayno.txt 4955
101 Ways to Say No, by Vuarnet International
scavenge.93 29564
The University of Chicago Scavenger Hunt List 1993
school.mud 14948
Infocom Adventure about Freshman Year
sci.gra 1904
Collection of Scientific and Futuristic One-Liners
sdvallah.hum 17229
Stare Decisis by Alexander of Atlantis
seagull.txt 4875
The SeaGull Electronic University Fall Semester 1990 (Humor)
seastory.txt 4419
The Admiral Tells Your Favorite Story about Hookers and Defication (Well, your only one)
security.hum 2895
Security on the Home Front, by Robert Brooks
selfserv.txt 1685
Winners of the Self-Serving Excuses (April 10, 1994)
seuss.txt 1664
The Dr. Seuss Purity Test
sexjokes.fun 28800
Large Collection of Across the Board Offensive Jokes
sflvrs.hacker 29795
A Beautiful obsession with the binary world, by Steven Levy
shagbook.jok 4756
The Book of Shag
shame.hum 3163
Shame! Naughty! Naught! From the National Satirist
shit.1 1634
This is How Shit Happens
shit.def 4964
Large Collection of Fecal Output Terms
shit.txt 1999
A Collection of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.) Departments
shitlist.txt 4755
The "Infamous" Shit List
shitmemo.txt 1729
A Collection of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.) Departments
shorties.jok 21952
Collection of Short Jokes
shrink.news 1956
The Shrink Sports News
shuttleb.hum 2432
A Moment's Horror Brings Momentous Grief
signatur.jok 9735
Collection of Stupid .signature Files
sigs.txt 15038
The Enormous Signature File Collection
simp.txt 2683
Simplified Integrated Modular Prose by The Bear
sinksub.txt 3041
Sinking a Sub, by Hellrazor
skincat 8751
101 Ways to Skin a Cat by Master Control (1991)
skippy.hum 5490
How to Screw with Ask the Expert
skippy.txt 6324
Ask the Expert, written by Tristan Farnon and D'ark Angel
slogans.txt 2048
List of Possible Slogans Promoting National Condom Week
smackjok.hum 13056
All sorts of racist/sexist/disgusting humor.
smartass.txt 4956
The Ultimate Final Test
smiley.txt 7530
Large Collection of Emoticons/Smileys
smokers.txt 1832
Short Story for Smokers Only
smurf-03.txt 10831
The Smurf Squishers' Handbook Volume III by The Smurf Butcher Bobs (August 28, 1986)
smurf_co.txt 14751
The SmurfCODE (1990)
smurfkil.hum 15072
Smurf Genocide Volume #1
smurfs.cc 3231
A Compilation of Anti-Smurf Poetry, by The Highwayman, and The Smuggler
snake_ng.ras 2712
An MIT Student Talks about his pet Boa Constrictor
snipe.txt 1920
SNIPE SORCERY: The Invocation of the Baboo, a Collection of False Wicca
soccer.txt 1450
Top 10 New Precautions The British Have Taken to Avoid Soccer Voilence
socecon.hum 13541
The New Socialism, by John K. Williams
social.hum 6441
Economic Power, by Joseph S. Fulda
socks.drx 3540
Where the Missing Socks from the Laundry Go, by Snarastaman
soleleer.hum 22051
Stare Decisis Chapter 9: SOLE LEER
solviets.hum 2609
The Soviets: What are they pulling now?
some_hu.mor 6505
Collection of odd 1976 Newspaper Stories
soporifi.abs 2651
The Ballade of Soporific Absorption from 1958 (January 12, 1989)
sorority.gir 7031
Canonical List of Sorority Girl Jokes
spelin_r.ifo 1464
Spelling Reform, a Letter at a Time
speling.msk 4113
Indications you're reading Popular English
spider.hum 1935
Creepy Accounting of a Tarantula Killing a Sparrow
spoonlis.txt 15459
A List of Malapropisms, Mixed Metaphors, Spoonerisms, Etc. by Noel Giffin (February, 1993)
spydust.hum 4693
Spy Dust Mopped Up, a Special Report
squids.gph 6603
The True Definition of a SQUID by The Ascii Assassin
st_silic.txt 5918
More Silliness from Saint Silicon
staff.txt 2838
Courses Being Taught Over There or Something
standard.hum 5894
Yet Another Modest Proposal
startrek.txt 2104
Startrek, The Ultimate Story!
stereo.txt 4988
Troubleshooting Your New Stereo, by P. Harris
steroid.txt 3080
Announcing the creation of TEXT FILE STEROIDS!
stone.hum 24988
Odd Little Story About Sucking the Life Out Of Someone
strine.txt 46263
The Strine Dictionary, by Ure Smith, of Sydney (1965)
strsdiet.txt 1513
The Stress Diet
studentb.txt 4066
The World According To Student Bloopers
subrdead.hum 39636
The Suburban Book Of The Dead, Version 1.0
suicide2.txt 9199
13 Ways to Commit Suicide by KvM of STACC
sungenu.hum 7919
The Latest Cult Hero: Dr. J.R. (Bob) Dobbs
supermar.rul 3129
The Secret Supermarket Rules List
swearfrn.hum 7100
How to Swear in French, by Cherry Poptart
sysadmin.txt 14090
Know Your System Administrator: A Field Guide
sysman.txt 7128
Extract from "The Way It Is" - Warner/Davis
t-10.hum 2249
T-10, where are you?
t-shirt.hum 4859
T-Shirts: The Human Bumpersticker
t_zone.jok 9046
Mission Impossible Meets the Twilight Zone
takenote.jok 2047
How to Take Notes in Professor Mitchell's Class
talebeat.hum 11975
Rock The Story of Nick and the Intergalactic Break Dancers
talkbizr.txt 17815
The Talk.Bizzare Board Game: Rules and Diagram
taping.hum 5117
The TAPING I: Rag File on Jeff Spicolli
tarot.txt 6362
Major Arcana Tarot Cards that Didn't Quite Make It
teens.txt 2875
How to Survive the Terrible Teens: An Owners' Guide
teevee.hum 4333
Television Programs from Outer Space
telecom.q 16195
Large Collection of Telephone-Related Quotes
televisi.hum 5832
How to Work in Television, or Hand Me That Piano
televisi.txt 6878
How to Work in Television, or Hand Me That Piano, by The Great Crumal
temphell.jok 1318
The Tempature of Heaven
terbear.txt 6021
The Terror Bears on the Rampage, by Darkside 444
termpoem.txt 1725
Terminal Panic, or Why Didn't I Become an English Major? By Susan Crawshaw
terms.hum 7487
An Unabridged, Uncommon, and Unnecessary Dictionary of Computer Terminology, from King Herman
terrmcd'.hum 7203
How to Terrorize McDonalds
terrnieg.hum 3283
How to Terorize the Neighborhood
test.hum 4982
Current Affairs Quiz, January, 1984
test.jok 10488
How to Test those Christians
test2.jok 4927
More Tests for Bibliolators
testchri.txt 4230
Here are more tests for our Bibliolators...
texican.dic 18070
Texasese Speak Listing, or Texas Crude Dictionary
texican.lex 18069
List of Texas Crude (Dialect)
textgrap.hum 2730
A REALLY old classic by Jason Scott, The Slipped Disk
tfepisod.hum 5970
Episode Guide for Tristan Farn0n stuff
tfpoems.hum 1629
A Few Quick Poems from Tristan Farn0n
the_ant.txt 2916
A Quick Update to the Fable of the Ant and the Grasshopper
the_math.hel 5773
The Math Problem From Hell
thecube.hum 5842
Pirate Publication by Supplier
thermite.ana 11392
Thermite Incendiaries and Formulas, by Primo Pyro
thesis.beh 5423
101 Things Not to do at Or For Your Thesis Defense
three.lws 10138
The Adventures of Lone Wolf Scientific
tickmoon.hum 8376
Ticket To The Moon
timetr.hum 6538
Time Travel: A Discussion, by Howard Ullman
tits 5443
Head Honco Presents: Tits for Free
tnd.1 27483
Small Collection of "Found Humor"
top10.elf 670
The Top Ten Elf Pickup Lines
top10.txt 30008
The Best Letterman Top 10s from David Letterman, 1989
top10st1.txt 28316
Silly Top Ten List Compilation (December 1992)
top10st2.txt 47880
Additional Stupid Top 10 Lists
topten.hum 5636
A Top Ten Look Back at the 80s by Deth Vegetable and Fidel Castro
toxcwast.hum 4456
The Store of T0XIC WASTE
transp.txt 2908
How to Build Your Own Transporter
trash!.hum 3509
A Couple Headlines taken off the Tabloids
trekfume.txt 3648
New... Trekfume: Trek Perfumes
trekwes.hum 6636
The Next, Next Generation. How It All Began!
tribble.hum 2429
That's Dribble, Tribble!
trukdeth.txt 5807
Stories About Trucks And Death...By: The Penguin, The Druggie, Rockhead, Hot Mama, and Ski Guy
truthlsd.hum 17379
ALTERNATIVE III by Leslie Watkins
truths.hum 3072
How Do We Tell Truths That Might Hurt?
tshirts.jok 8223
Collection of T-Shirt Sayings
tuflife.txt 2865
Getting Through Life's Tough Stages
turbo.hum 3154
The Turbo Encabulator in Industry
turing.shr 4543
The Turing Shroud: An Amazing Archeological Discovery! By Chris Boyd (1990)
twinkie.txt 2745
The Twinkie Therom, The Real Story, by CHUD
twinkies.jok 4489
The Biology of Snack Cakes Prepared by Eric Kollenberg 21 Feb. 1986
un.happy 3506
Things to Do When in an Unhappy Mood
units.mea 1600
Real Bizzare Units of Measurement (February 1989)
univ.odd 10808
List of Universities that quickly degenerates into siliness
urban.txt 35283
Official Usenet Alt.Folklore.Urban Frequently Posted Legends
vaguemag.90s 6806
Vague, the Magazine that Defines the 90's
valujet.txt 16176
Short Play About the World's Safest Airline, by George F.
variety1.asc 20711
Collection of Various Humor Textfiles
variety2.asc 19371
Varions Humor Textfiles, Part II
variety3.asc 38121
Various Humor Textfiles, Part III
various.txt 42129
Various Humor Textfiles, Part IV
vegkill.txt 3072
Is Killing Vegetables Wrong?
voltron.hum 2285
The Story of V O L T R O N
vonthomp 1145
Quote from Kurt Vonnegut of Hunter S. Thompson
wagit.txt 3436
Join W.A.G.I.T. Today! White Are Good, It True.
wagon.hum 6470
You know it's time to go on the wagon when....
waitress.txt 4654
Health Warning: Waitresses
washroom.txt 3165
20 Types You Meet in the Men's Room
wedding.hum 1821
The Wedding Ends Before it Started: NY Post
weight.txt 1519
Giving New Meaning to Working out With Weights - Russell Daily News, Feb. 24, 1992
welfare 1948
Examples of Unclear Writing to the Welfare Department
welfare.txt 2023
Welfare Bloopers Fare Wall (Excerpts from Applications for Welfare)
wetdream.hum 3220
Wet Dream in Atlantis
who.txt 1297
Did you hear about the guy who.....
whoon1st.hum 7680
The Classic Who's On First Routine
whoops.hum 2448
Why the National Satirist was down last week
why-me.hum 5700
Examples of People Dying or Getting Hurt in really funny ways
wimptest.txt 9106
Mangling Impersonal Relationships, by Dunkirk
wisconsi.txt 6034
Collection of Wiconsonisms
wisdom 7009
Words of Wisdom
women.jok 3197
David's Truths About Women
wood 3715
The Woody Sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus
woodbine.txt 3510
The New Woodbine Pushover Stakes
woodbugs.txt 9008
101 Uses For Wood Bugs (those bugs that curl into a ball) by David Hooper
woodsmok.txt 5522
Stories about the Problems with Wood-Burning Stoves
woolly_m.amm 5448
Retrobreeding the Woolly Mammoth from the April 1984 Issue of the MIT Technology Review
word.hum 2169
One of the Most Colorful Words in the World is FUCK!
worldend.hum 13132
The World Ended Yesterday, by Don L. Tyler
wrdnws1.txt 4841
Weird News: Volume 1
wrdnws2.txt 4606
Weird News Volume 2
wrdnws3.txt 5037
Weird News Volume 3
wrdnws4.txt 4990
Weird News Volume 4
wrdnws5.txt 5064
Weird News Volume 5
wrdnws6.txt 5008
Weird News Volume 6
wrdnws7.txt 4819
Weird News Volume 7
wrdnws8.txt 4388
Weird News Volume 8
wrdnws9.txt 4872
Weird News Volume 9
xibovac.txt 78769
My Time with Xibo on my Vacation
xtermin8.hum 5469
Leech Extermination Guide Version One
y.txt 2553
50 Uses for the Household Pussy, by Gross Genitalia, December 04, 1989
yjohncse.hum 3945
Why Johnny Can't Sell, a Business Report
yogisays.txt 2474
Famous Yogi Berra Quotes
yuppies.hum 5656
What is A Yuppie? By Uncle Stimey
zen.txt 8448
A Collection of Zen Koans
zgtoilet.txt 5847
Zero Gravity Toilet Instructions
zodiac.hum 3122
The World's Most Unpleasant Zodiac

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